Finding Balance Under Time Pressure: Coping Strategies for Highly Sensitive People

 By the end of this episode, you’ll discover some practical ways to deal with time pressure as an HSP.

Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I’m your host Todd Smith, a facilitator of the work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I’m a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you’ll discover why HSPs are bothered by time pressure more than non HSPs, strategies for how to give yourself more time when you think you don’t have enough, and how to work within hard time boundaries with less stress. This is an edition of Strategy Fridays. Where we think about specific things you can do to help manage stress as a highly sensitive person.

Why are HSPs bothered by time pressure more than non HSPs? I’ve thought of this, and what seems to make sense to me is that we tend to be focused on the end result. We see, we’re very forward thinking, we see what’s possible. We see how good this could be, and so our interest is on getting there and making it be something really solid.

We also want free reign to go deeply, and we enjoy going deeply and doing a really good job. And so time pressure restrains us, and it can even feel like the antithesis. of creativity and being able to do things thoroughly. Ideally for me, I would love an infinite amount of time to do a project or any kind of a job.

So time restraints constrict us. They put a limit on that. And that can sometimes feel like it’s stressful. Yeah. Because it’s a conflict inside. Another thing that I find is that having a deadline is having two conflicting goals at the same time. My first goal always is to do a really good job, to do the job that was, I set out to do.

And then the other goal, if I have a deadline, is I need to do it on time. And these are, these have conflicts, they are conflicting. And they make the job that much more complex. Because one job on its own may already have a ton of complexity. Then you add the idea of doing it on time, and it adds a whole nother level of complexity.

Because these two interact with each other, and they limit each other. On the one hand, I may want to spend extra time to do something really well. I may want to do extra research, and I know that will make a huge difference. And on the other hand, I may want to reserve some of my time for some of the other things that are also important, and I want to keep a balance on time and not let myself go too far into one direction and get lost there.

So this conflict or these opposites that are at play in a situation where you have a deadline are something that Highly sensitive people are very aware of and we feel this and we’re trying to manage these two and it can be an addition to that experience of stress. It can also lead to overwhelm because there are now so many variables that have to be looked at that it’s it can be just too much.

So what are some strategies of how to give yourself more time when you think you don’t have enough time? And this is also something that I work with on a daily basis within my own life and it’s something that I find is really important to think about. So the first one is prioritizing and I mean prioritizing ruthlessly.

For the past few months I’ve been doing a lot of transition in my business and I have said no I don’t know how many times, dozens of times to opportunities, collaboration opportunities, learning opportunities, things that I’m interested in things I’d like to develop in my own business, things that I would like to organize in my business and make a little more fluent and work a little smoother.

These are all things that I’d like to do, but I’ve said no to, again and again and again. And that’s because I’ve prioritized what I’m really focusing on. And so my focus has been very simple. It’s been focusing on my podcast, newsletter, and the new programs that I’m developing, including my new website and the community that I have.

So because that’s my focus and I’ve decided that’s where I’m going and then that is what’s most important, I have let other things go and that’s an essential part of dealing with any kind of time pressure. Now I don’t have a strict time pressure on this, but I do have time pressure and I do have some deadlines that I’ve set for myself and I’m trying to work within those.

And the prioritization is super helpful because it simplifies things. It helps me focus and it helps me go deep, which makes the job that much more enjoyable. The thing that really helps for me is to not shoot for perfection. Jobs, if you’re really under a time pressure, keep in mind that jobs can be shrunk to fit the time slot.

This comes up for me, like when I’m facilitating people one on one I know that. We can take an hour to do the work really thoroughly. But I also know that I can do the work even with another person in two minutes, or five minutes, or fifteen minutes, or certainly thirty minutes. And this flexibility of time, flexibility of how thorough, is an amazing thing to keep in mind.

And when I’m work, dealing with a time pressure situation, I do have that flexibility. I may not be able to do everything to perfection, but I can do all of the main things roughed in and do it within the time period. It’s always possible. It’s just a matter of how you look at it and how you approach it.

Also I find it’s important not to make my project my whole identity. This is so easy for us to do. I love working. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I think it’s common for HSPs to feel this way. But if I make it my whole identity, then I’m going to pour all of my resources, even more resources than I even have into the project.

And I’m going to end up cutting other things that are balancing. Rest downtime, play, exercise, taking care of myself, eating, sleeping, all those things. And so if I make my project my whole identity, then I’m caught up in it and carried away by it. But if I stand in my own identity as just someone who’s doing my best to do a project within a certain amount of time, then I will actually find that I have more perspective and I can come and go to the project in a more balanced way.

In fact, I’ve noticed because I’ve been super busy, but super focused these past few months, But it hasn’t, there have been times when I came close to overwhelm. I think I even got too overwhelmed a few times. But there’s been plenty of times where I’ve been super busy, but not feeling overwhelmed at all.

And it feels like I’m stepping into my job, and I’m focusing on that really intensely during that, those hours, and I’m stepping out of my job. And then I’m stepping back into it the next day, and then back out of it And so it just starts to feel like a normal flow of daily life rather than this all consuming thing that I need to put all my resources in and I can’t rest until I’m done, that’s a super stressful, limiting belief.

I got that when I was a kid because, My dad always said, do your homework first and then you can go out and play. Of course, being an HSP, doing my homework first was like, Oh my God, that’s a huge job. And I never went out and played because I didn’t have enough time. That may have been good as general advice for somebody, but for me, I need to be a little bit extra mindful that going out and playing may be as important as a balance to doing my homework.

And so if I can balance those two, maybe have a break, have some kind of structure of time, then it can help to keep me balanced. And then finally, one of the strategies that I never used, but is something that I am starting to use, didn’t even think it was possible, for example, when I was in school, is to ask for an extension.

When a teacher said, the paper’s due on this date, I was like, it’s due, I have to do it, there’s no choice. And, or if the test is on this day, whatever, there was, I never felt like I had a choice. Now, as a 50 some year old, I’m starting to think, wait a minute, I do have choices here and I can actually say, Hey, let’s negotiate this.

This just doesn’t work for me. And I have a say. And so that’s something that is worth keeping in mind when you think you don’t have enough time because you may have more time. You may say you may be able to renegotiate with a client, with a boss and say, this is unrealistic. Maybe we need to extend the time so that I can get this done in a better way.

Or maybe there’s ways that I could some of this could be delegated to others so that I’m not carrying such a huge burden in such a short amount of time. So finally, let’s look about, look at how to work within hard time boundaries with less stress. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it. The extension is not possible.

It has to be done in this time. And so how can you do what you need to do as best you can without getting too stressed? One way that really works for me is to forget about the big project when I’m working on a small task, like in a time block. So I like to plan. I like to have a super clear plan. What are my priorities?

What’s the big picture of this project? But then I like to just identify the next step and go deeply into that one thing within a certain time block, time period and do everything I can to finish that as well as I can within that time. So it’s like a mini deadline or a mini little window for focusing on one little task.

When I do that, I forget about the big project. And if I’m keeping the big project in my mind the whole time, then I’m going to be stressing out about that instead of just focusing on the one little thing, which I is totally doable. So I find this to be super important to separate my planning and my big picture focus from my action and my small picture focus.

So when I’m in the small picture, I’m just there and it feels like I’m alone working on something that I know is a brick in the wall, but it’s going to be an important one and I’m just going to do the best I can with the time I have. Then afterwards, I can go back to re evaluate and say, how does that brick fit in the wall?

And what other bricks do I need to make? And I can say, what’s the next brick to focus on? And then I go back in And start focusing on that. And it’s a really enjoyable swing from big picture to small picture, like very wide angle. I’m really focused and this swing back and forth, not only is enjoyable, but it’s super effective because I’m keeping the grand perspective and I’m also getting into the details without getting lost in or overwhelmed by either one of them.

Another thing that helps when you’re dealing with hard time boundaries, this comes from cooking. I love to cook. I used to be a cook. I love to cook. And I cook my partner and I both cook meals regularly for ourselves. When you’re cooking, you have a deadline normally. If you say, we’re going to eat at this time, there’s a sort of deadline.

And if you’re going to have the meal come out together, you have to plan backwards. And if you know that you’re going to eat at noon, then you know that the lentils are going to take this much time. The rice is going to take this much time. The vegetables are going to take a different amount of time.

And there’s another step involved if you’re making, say, paneer, or you’re making some yogurt lassi or something like that. These are all things that I like to make. But they have to be coordinated so that everything finishes at the same time. So when you plan backwards, you just look, okay yeah, the rice is going to take say 20 minutes, then I’m going to start that at 20 minutes to 12.

The lentils are going to take longer, maybe a half hour, depending on the lentil, maybe 40 minutes. I’m going to start that earlier and the the making the paneer has two steps, making it and then preparing it or adding it to the meal. So I’m going to do that earlier. Then that needs to sit. So you coordinate so that everything will come together at the end.

Takes a little bit of planning, but it’s something that can be super helpful for working under a time pressure. Finally, one of my favorite things for reducing stress when working with time boundaries is to see a project as just another step of evolution. So this is project version 1. 1. And there will be project version 1.

4 and so on. And this allows me to relax the perfectionistic side and know that I’m going to do everything I can within this time period to create a good product. But it’s just one step in the process, and it will be tested afterwards. It will be used, and we’ll find out what new things need to be changed or developed.

And this gives me, this takes the weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t, I don’t have to come up with the amazing, perfect version that I’ll never have to modify. I don’t have to do that. I just create this first version, and We’ll see. Then, maybe you never make any more because that just didn’t go anywhere.

Fine. Then, that’s fine. We’ll take the next project and do the same thing. But some projects will just continue to evolve, and seeing it that way takes the pressure off of me. In this episode, we looked at why HSPs are bothered by time pressure more than non HSPs. And from my experience, it has to do with the fact that we focus on the end result, We want to go deeply we see time restraints as the antithesis of our desire to be creative and thorough.

And we tend to feel the complexity of trying to balance doing something well and doing it on time. We also looked at some strategies for how to give yourself more time when you think you don’t have enough. One of the most important, of course, is prioritizing Also not shooting for perfection and realizing that you can shrink a job to fit a time slot if necessary.

Also, not making a project your whole identity, and then simply asking for extensions when appropriate. And then finally, we looked at how to work within hard time boundaries and how to do that with less stress. And one of the things that helps me is to forget about the big project when you’re working on the small tasks.

Plan the big stuff, then go into the small stuff and go back and forth in a balanced way. Working backwards can also be super helpful when you’re dealing with a set boundary. And finally, seeing the project as something, just another step of evolution that will have a version 1. 1 and a version 1. 2 and so on.

So all of these things can support HSPs to live within the boundaries of time, but not cramp ourselves so completely that it becomes stressful. The idea is to live within boundaries, but also thrive within boundaries. And it’s possible if you have the time to do it. some or bring some awareness to what you’re doing and use a few of these little practical tactics.

So thanks for listening, and we will see you next time.