How a Highly Sensitive Person Can Stay Calm When Technology and Customer Service Feel Overwhelming

Todd: [00:00:00] I wanna make a special invitation to you to join us for a virtual retreat. If you’ve never been on a virtual retreat, you may think, oh, what’s the use? I’m just gonna be on Zoom. It’s sort of the, the, I. Same as being on the computer anywhere, but want to encourage you to actually try this out because my experience is this is a very powerful way of coming together and doing the work in a kind of intensive way for a weekend.

I’ve been doing these virtual retreats with my Inquiry Circle group for a few years now, and they are. As being in a real retreat setting, the advantages are you don’t have to travel. It doesn’t cost very much, and. The same feeling of community comes up as you work with people and as you get experience one-on-one in doing the work.

So I want you [00:01:00] to just encourage you to look at this, consider joining us for a virtual retreat and, um, taking advantage of the in-person kind of experience of doing the work. With other people. It’s one thing to do it on your own, but to have other people in a community, in a group supporting you, it can be a huge support for going deeper.

Client: Spectrum, the internet provider, um, rejected my credit card, auto payment and sent me an email and um, and then I called them and it took what I would say is a lot of time. To reach a human being and I got a little wrapped around the axle 

Todd: about it. [00:02:00] Welcome to Wiggle Room, a podcast where we start with stress and look for ways to turn it around.

And to do that, we use something called the work of Byron Katie, if you’ve never heard of the work of Byron Katie, you’re in for a treat. It’s a simple way to question any thought, any stressful thought, and. Look for ways of seeing the same situation that are often much less stressful. So it’s a process of exploration.

I’m Todd Smith and on the program today, a participant does the work on a situation with his internet company where he was on working with the computer phone tree and was trying to connect with a real person and was getting frustrated in the process. I will also read my newsletter article. How big of a Mirror do you need to see yourself?

So let’s dive into the work of Byron Katie [00:03:00] together. The first thing we’ll do is listen to the recording of the open session where this participant was doing the work on the internet company. And then, um, we’ll move to the reading of my newsletter article. As always with the open session recordings, I like to give you the full unedited recording so you can experience the dynamics that happen just naturally when two people come together.

Client: Well, you know, I think I’d like to do the work on something. I, I’ve actually got a worksheet filled out, but it doesn’t have the charge around it that it had. When I. When I first wrote it a few days ago, so I would prefer to do the work, maybe somewhat extemporaneously meaning Sure. Um, I’ll just kind of, I know what the, I, I kind of would be able to fill it out pretty quickly, [00:04:00] um, given what happened recently this morning.

Todd: And what’s the situation? Um, 

Client: spectrum, the internet provider. Um, rejected my credit card, auto payment and sent me an email and, um, and then I called them and it took what I would say is a lot of time to reach a human being and I got a little wrapped around the axle about it. It’s the situation. Okay.

Great 

Todd: situation. I can certainly relate. 

Client: Thank you. So, so my, my thought is, my thought is, um, spectrum should make it a lot easier for me [00:05:00] to reach somebody. Yeah.

Todd: So let’s do this. Spectrum should make it a lot easier for you to reach someone. Is that true?

Client: Yes.

Todd: And can you absolutely know it’s true spectrum should make it a lot easier for you to reach someone. Hmm.[00:06:00] 

Client: No.

Todd: Okay. So how do you react? What happens when you think that spectrum should make it a lot easier for you to reach someone and you’re on that long process?

Client: I get frustrated and I,

I become indignant. Like, I’m, I’m in the room with my devices, this [00:07:00] headset, a phone, whatnot, and I’m trying to manage Bluetooth and the phone and the iPad and, and, and I’m feeling very put upon and victimized. By what? By, by this company. Um, this company that I’m imagining, and I start to feel this pressure building up in my, in my chest and, you know, I notice it and I try to relax and it builds up and I try to relax and, and then I start saying into the, I start saying, into the, it was either the phone or the iPad.

Agent, agent, agent, like I’m raising my voice as if like the robot is gonna be, you know, intimidated by my anger. And, um, [00:08:00] and, um, and I hang up and I recall and I,

and all the while, uh, and I’m, I’m multitasking because there’s no way I’m gonna just sit still. So I’m, I’m cooking and I’m doing this and that and, and I’m just, just. I was having a nice day, and now I’m, and now I’m miserable, just miserable at the hands of this situation. They’re my thoughts about this situation.

I don’t like them. I, I find them like, like, like they’re doing something to me. Like it’s, it feels like it’s, I think that it’s disrespectful or, or, uh, cheap on their part. Um, like they don’t, they don’t care. They don’t care. They’re the monopoly. They don’t care about me. They should care about me. And, um,

[00:09:00] and, and now like, and you think about it, I feel like really like a little tearful, like disappointed, you know, like,

damn, like what? Like. Why everything, you know, like, I think like everything else is just great. Like, why are these people so inept like that, you know?

And then when I finally do get an agent, I, I, I try to be really, uh, respectful and like I, I ratchet the way back. Like I, I could get hold of myself and, and. And try to try to be sincere and and a good guy,

although I’m still kind of steaming.

Yeah.[00:10:00] 

Todd: Yeah. That’s it. How are you treating Spectrum in your mind when you think that it should make it a lot easier for you to reach someone? 

Client: It’s a kind of a vague. General violent attitude. Like I don’t actually see any violence going on, but it’s, it’s like a, an inner violence and,

and it’s, you know, I don’t even know what spectrum is like in that moment. It’s like, it’s this entity. It’s a, it is a, it’s a them and I don’t have an image of them. I just know it, it’s there and, and, and they’re my, my opposition

and they’re kind of, it kind of make ’em have to be parental, like the worst aspects of [00:11:00] like the bad parent. Yeah.

Todd: It’s uncomfortable. Yeah.

Do you feel it anywhere specifically in your body? Yeah. Like throat, 

Client: chest.

Todd: Yeah.

Who would you be without this thought in the same situation with a long wait? Who would you be without the thought? That spectrum should make it a lot easier for you to reach someone.[00:12:00] 

Client: You know, I might even be amused and I’d be curious

and I’d, I’d take some responsibility. I. Not all responsibility. If I take some responsibility, like, um, let me see. Am I the question like, am I not understanding this technology correctly, which I wasn’t? Um, am I complic by, by trying to make this, by multitasking and try to make, trying to use Bluetooth and all that?

Um, am I complicating this? Am I confusing the machinery? You know, um, I, I would be, um, you know what it is, I’d be like, uh, collaborative, that’s the word. I’d be [00:13:00] collaborative with this, I could say called a company, but I’d certainly be collaborative with the interface that they’ve given me to work with. Be like, mm-hmm.

Oh, have, see, like, you know, like, like, you know, how. We are at our best. It’s like, oh, I wonder how, like, if you’re working on a car, I wonder how this carburetor works as if we had carburetors. But anyway, you know, like, I wonder, I wonder how this works. Like, I could even be intrigued, right? Try to figure out the situation, you know, instead of, um, pouting.

Todd: Very interesting. Yeah. What did you say to her? I mean, I 

Client: actually, yeah. Excuse me. I, I, I, I’d, um. I would try to be clever instead of ornery. You know, what were you gonna say, Todd? 

Todd: Yeah, I was just gonna say like what you were sharing in this question, who you’d be without the thought sort of reveals [00:14:00] some of more answers to how you are with the thought in question three.

How you react is you, don’t you, you don’t. Um, yeah. Instead of being something intriguing, it’s something you’re, you’re just not open to. Like it’s a, uh, yeah. Kind of a, yeah.

Cool. So how would you turn this thought around? Spectrum should make it a lot easier for me to reach someone. 

Client: I should make 

Todd: it 

Client: a lot easier for me to reach someone. Okay. 

Todd: What could that be? 

Client: Um, um, it chokes me up a little bit because it’s like, that’s, that’s where the whole sit, that’s where it all lies you, um, just working with software here, [00:15:00] so I should make it a lot easier to reach someone.

Um, getting upset is the hard way. So just, you know, just putting the brakes on. I’m not sure how you’d, I’m not sure how you’d not get upset, but just not, just put it this way, not being upset is a lot easier way to reach someone. Hmm. I, I have my wits about me. So that’s, that’s one. Um, what is it? I, I should, I should make it easier.

I should, 

Todd: yeah. I should make it a lot easier for me to reach someone. 

Client: Yeah. 

Todd: What could you do to make it easier to reach someone? 

Client: Well, I did like halfway, I began to realize that because of the headset, like you guys can hear me, the headset for, for some reason the computer couldn’t hear me with the headset, so.[00:16:00] 

Pounding the keyboard, you know, trying instead of just real, just, and then eventually I took my headset off and was like, okay, this thing’s not here in the headset. I, I don’t know why, but it’s just not so, so I did make it easier, like a, a little bit, but I was still emotional. Um, so that’s two. Uh, I should make it easier.

Well, I signed up for. Voice recognition when it’s once I got the agent so that, because I couldn’t, I can’t remember my, my security code for internet provider, you know? Right. And, um, I should make it easier. There’s something here though,

you know, I’m not, I’m not new at, at this calling up utility game. [00:17:00] I’ve been over this territory before, so, um, it’s like, you know, each, each one, it’s like each one is like its own new electric car like we were talking about. So each one is its own new, a new electric car, and I don’t know what all the buttons are, so like where, where’s my expectation that.

I’m gonna be able to like, just zip through this thing and, and like, and what year am I thinking that I’m gonna pick up the, the, the dial phone and say, um, oh, hello. Hi Bob. Yeah, your name’s Bob. I’m Bill. And this is all gonna go swimmingly. No, we’re gonna get menus. So making it easier on me. It is just to remember what century it is and, and.

And to realize, I think for me to realize that, um, I’m going into a little bit of a, uh, you know, there, [00:18:00] there’s, there’s gonna be a temptation here to get upset and just know what I’m up against or know what I’m working with and just, okay, this is gonna be, this is gonna, this might be interesting. So to not have these ancient expectations that I have, and just remember that like, oh, okay.

This is good. This, this might, this might take a half an hour. This is not gonna be 32nd phone call. Right. And then just Yeah. Just to be sober about it, you know? 

Todd: Right. Then you know what you’re dealing with and Yeah. It’s not gonna take, it probably will be shorter than if you have those expectations and then the frustration that keeps you from thinking clearly.

So. Yeah. 

Client: Exactly. Yeah, and, and the hangups and the callbacks and all that, just go right. No hurry. Approach it with low expectation and no hurry. Thank you for that. Yeah, thank you. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s cool. Yeah. I’m, I’m resetting [00:19:00] my own expectations as I’m listening to you. Like, wait a, wait a minute. Service call to a utility company.

Probably gonna take a half hour. Gonna learn a new system in the process. Right. Let’s sit down with a cup of tea. 

Client: There you go. There you go. Right, right, right, right. Have a nice time. Right. Have a, a nice time. In fact, I was even gonna say to the guy I was gonna, I was gonna, once I got the agent on, I, and I didn’t say it ’cause I just kind of dropped it.

But I, I was gonna say, you know, my feedback is that I’ve got a therapy session set up this afternoon and I’m gonna dedicate my time to the therapy session to get over you assholes.

Exactly, but I forgot, I forgot to say it. 

Todd: Yeah. So if you count this time of like going through all the, the post, uh, you know, [00:20:00] afterwards Right, 

Client: right, right. Right. Now we’ve like 

Todd: doubled the time. Like it’s maybe doubled or tripled, right? Yeah. So I could, if I wanted to make it a little easier for me to reach someone by resetting those expectations.

That’s really cool. Mm-hmm. I like that. Mm-hmm. Because I think of other situations like figuring out something on my computer maybe or something where I don’t have those expectations. And I, I’m very methodical and slow. And if it takes a while, no problem. It’s like there’s no. There’s no issue, but when I think it should be like that, oh boy.

I’m frustrated from the get go. Yeah. And 

Client: when I, when I, when I got to the representative, he was efficient, kind, friendly, helpful, you know, which I, which I would say is really more what spectrum is the representative rather than [00:21:00] my misunderstanding the software.

Right. Oh, as it turned, it’s a, this is kind of a turnaround. I’m not sure where the turnaround to what, but I realized that the telephone number in the email was to make a payment, and that was not my intention. My intention was to have my card reentered or something like that, you know, whatever. I needed to talk to somebody.

So I ended up, I. I called the wrong people in the first place. Right. With the wrong channel, you know, 

Todd: so that’s interesting. Yeah. That’s another example for this turnaround that, that I should make it a lot easier for me to reach someone. Yeah. By slowing down and checking if the number is the right number before diving in.

Client: No, not that. Not the fine print. No,[00:22:00] 

exactly. Yeah. 

Todd: All right. So is there another turnaround spectrum? Should make it a lot easier for me to reach someone

Client: I had like to try Spectrum should make it a lot easier. I. To reach myself.

So say it again? Spectrum. Spectrum should make it a lot easier to reach myself.

Todd: Oh, okay. Tell me where you’re going with this. Let’s, let’s see where you’re going. I can see something. I, I 

Client: don’t know. It’s like, it just, it just occurred to me. It’s a curious thing and, and I thought it might be worthwhile spectrum.[00:23:00] 

Well, it’s a, it’s a little bit of a twisty kind of thing here, but mm-hmm. I say sh should, because they did, they did make it easier to reach myself because they, they woke me up to the, the need to, to reach inside instead of punching the dials, you know? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so like, you know what, I’m, I’m grateful, I’m grateful to spectrum

that, that this happened and I got to spend time with you guys and, and, uh, and look at this more tenderly. Yeah, they help, they helped me reach my, my reach myself, my, my, my kinder self, my reasonable self. 

Todd: Exactly. If this hadn’t [00:24:00] come, come up, if they hadn’t, if they had just been super efficient, you would’ve breezed by, but now you got a chance to look at something that’s been going on for years.

Right? Yeah. With utility companies and the rest. So you would’ve, and I don’t even, you might have never found this solution. 

Client: Yeah. Mm-hmm. And now I don’t even know that they were. How’d you put it? Inefficient. I, I don’t know that I, 

Todd: right, right. So sometimes it takes, it takes a company like Spectrum, making it not easier for you, quote unquote, um, for you to reach this new way of seeing.

Client: Yeah. Which is a more genuine self than that other puppet that was jumping around with a, a hammer and a blowtorch.

Todd: I’d [00:25:00] hate to see your computer.

Client: Yeah, 

Todd: yeah, me too. Okay. So that’s probably similar to the turnaround. I should make it a lot easier for me to reach, uh, me. Oh. Um, but tell me if does Yeah. That wording brings anything different.

Client: No, that is different. It’s similar, but it’s different. And, and thank you. So it’s like, um.

Although we, we did, we actually did cover that in what we’ve, what we’ve looked at here that it’s about the expectations. Is there something more? Um,

you know, I need to be methodical [00:26:00] in my chores, like particularly around paperwork. Paying bills and all that and to,

it’s like, like a great example this year, maybe for the first time I enjoyed paying my taxes, like doing all the work and whatnot. ’cause I had the right attitude and it was interesting and went on for days, you know? So I’m capable of that. So I need to incorporate that into paying bills and doing paperwork and insurance companies, you know, the whole, the whole schmear.

Yeah. So how did you put it again? I, I need to be, what’s the turn? 

Todd: I should make it a lot easier for me to reach myself. 

Client: Yeah. Especially in this area. And hope, uh, with, with some luck, I’ll remember this and kind of set up a structure where [00:27:00] I know that this is, uh.

This is an area with bear traps and just I can walk a little more judiciously through the, yeah, yeah. Thank you. 

Todd: Yeah. Cool. So, um, just looking for any other turnaround. This one again may be similar to what we just saw, but. Spectrum should not make it a lot easier for me to reach someone. How’s it understandable?

Maybe that’s a way to look at it. How’s it understandable that it doesn’t make it a lot easier for you to reach someone? 

Client: Well,

you know.

Okay. [00:28:00] For one, they, they sent an email with a phone number that took me to a payment, like an auto automated payment method. And it just wasn’t appropriate for me. But it would, it, it’s, it’s reasonable since, since I missed a payment that I would be one of. Thousands and thousands of people who need to make a payment, right?

Mm-hmm. So they sent me the, pretty much the right email, but I happened to be like a special case. Mm-hmm. And, and, um, so it just, it just didn’t, it didn’t fit exactly. And there wasn’t an option for. We love you Bill so much, and how can we help you push this button.[00:29:00] 

Todd: Your personal agent, who remembers your name will be there, 

Client: right? Well connect me to my mom, you know,

for mom. Press three.

Todd: Exactly. So what I think I’m hearing is they did it, they did like they were in the ballpark, maybe 90%. Okay. But they just, they didn’t do it perfectly. Right. But so they, and, and, 

Client: okay. And lemme interrupt if you don’t mind. Yeah. And like they, they said, the agent said, well, you can, you can, um. You can debrief this thing, or what do you call it?

Uh, customer survey at the end. Mm-hmm. And I could have like said to them, Hey, you know, here’s a situation. You might wanna take this into consideration or whatever, and offer them helpful suggestion. And I, by that [00:30:00] point I thought. I need to eat my spinach. That’s I’m, I’m done with this. So, so they didn’t get any feed, they didn’t get any feedback from me, which would’ve been helpful maybe to them.

Todd: So of course, they shouldn’t make it a lot easier to reach someone because Yeah, 

Client: yeah, yeah. 

Todd: They’re not getting the feedback right. Yep. Right. Yep. Like, come on. You’re supposed to, you’re supposed to know that, that you messed up and Yeah. Right. And then correct your problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can totally, I can.

It’s interesting ’cause I can relate to it on both sides, but what I’m actually put, where I’m putting myself is on the side of spectrum. Since I have my own. Business and how easy it is. One little glitch, like something went out this morning in an email and it just totally blew up. The email didn’t, didn’t work at all, you know, and though just you think you’ve done everything and then one thing, uh, messes it up.

[00:31:00] So it’s so interesting. Or, or just a constant learning of like how, how to. Build a better system basically. It’s a, it’s an ever, 

Client: well, ever, never ending thing. Yeah. So I, I don’t know if this is conversation, it doesn’t feel like conversation. That what I’m about to say. It feels more like the work, but yeah, it’s, it’s actually a turnaround.

And that is that because of what you just shared with me, Todd, I realized that spectrum is like. It’s like you, a guy like you, and then a guy like you, Edwin, and blah, blah. They’re like just peop. They’re like, we almost for sure they have people working for them. Right? Almost for sure. And they’re like, they’re like people like us.

They’re not like monstrous, you know? I mean, so the. [00:32:00] People, you sincerely go, man, I really tried to do that. Right. You know, and I’m, I hope, hope I, I hope I’m doing this right for my customers, or that’s, that’s, that’s who I’m dealing with. And I’m, I’m, instead, I, I’m, I’m envisioning armies. Right. Russian armies or something.

That’s right. Yeah. Just 

Todd: people, just people. And doing like it, it sort of turns the whole thing around to see how much we expect from our companies now, you know, how much they do for us. They’ll, they will like practically fill the form out for you, you know, like they have, so they get so into the details of support, um, with computer support and everything that we, we almost, we almost expect them to be a one-on-one.

Person, but it isn’t, you know, so we’re, we’re kind of, yeah. It, it’s, in a way, it’s, it’s amazing that they can have these [00:33:00] semi-personal relationships with millions of customers and still have it work as well as it does.

So spectrum shouldn’t make it a lot easier for me to reach someone. Um, I think we’ve, we’ve already covered the other aspect of that, which is that it makes me dig deep, do my own work, and that’s a good thing. So.

Client: And the other shouldn’t, is that, uh, this is the way all companies are set up now. That’s, that’s the business structure you like. My expectation is like, is like, I’m, I’m on a farm in 1920 and I pick up the phone and say, oh, hi, [00:34:00] Maisie, get me the police department. Like, no, no. Right. 

Todd: You first have to say, hi, operator, can you get me?

Oh, right. That’s what you’re doing. Yeah, that’s me. Yeah. Yeah. Right. 

Client: Yeah. Like 

Todd: I know have to tell people we know each other. Right. Okay. You’re talking from direct experience. Right. I can see, and then you have to tell everyone on the party line to get off. Yeah. Right, right. So yeah, reality, reality. I can either fight it.

And suffer and make it even harder for myself, or I can see if I can work with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Client: Cool. And they’re giving, they’re giving me this, you know, they’re giving me this internet that we’re using, that I’m using right now to connect with you guys. 

Todd: Oh my God. So there it is. Spectrum is making it a lot easier for me to reach someone.

It just happens to be, 

Client: oh no,[00:35:00] 

good one. Wow. Yeah. Oh wow. Oh

wow. So we can be friends. Yeah, 

Todd: they are on my side even when they don’t do it perfectly. 

Client: Yeah.

Todd: Cool. Well thanks for your work. Yeah, 

Client: thanks for your support. 

Todd: That was fun. I enjoyed it. It’s real. You know, these situations, they seem, I. Trivial for people that are new to the work be like, why would I even bother? But I bother because they get me. They, they stress me even in small ways. They get me.

That’s enough. That’s all I need to know to start doing this work. And then what comes out of it is often so [00:36:00] surprising. And like me just listening to your work, I have a whole new idea of how. How I’m going to approach those kind of calls in the future. It’s gonna be, mm, I’m gonna, I’m gonna sit down. I’m gonna be planning to be there for a while.

I’m gonna be curious, like learning how to learn some new system. Yeah. Very different. So thank you. Wow. If you would like to participate in open sessions, like the one we just heard. Then go to the work as meditation.com and go to the open sessions area there and you’ll find all the details of the schedule coming up, how to sign up as a guest participant, and how to sign the release form.

All of that is there on the open sessions page.

Next, I’m going to read one of my newsletter articles called How Big of A Mirror Do You Need to See Yourself?[00:37:00] 

For you, this might look like a closeup of a saxophone, but for me it’s a mirror. I see my fingers holding the camera there, and I describe here a photograph where I was up close taking pictures of a saxophone, and you really can see the pic, the fingers of myself holding my camera, uh, in that picture.

What stops people from doing the work? If there’s one thing that seems to stop people from doing the work more than anything else, it’s this trying to solve big problems because big problems are big and important and daunting. Big problems make me think my whole life is at stake and this kind of thought adds pressure.

When I wanna do the work, it makes me put it off. Fortunately, the work is much simpler than that. The work is not about figuring things out. [00:38:00] It’s not about getting to the bottom of things. That’s what analysis is. This is non analysis. The work is not about learning more about myself so that I can control myself.

It’s not about fixing my life. And this may come as a surprise because that may be what got you into the work. But once you get in, you may find, uh, that it’s a little bit different than you were expecting. The work is not even about dealing with issues, so to speak. The work is really just a way of exploring, exploring the possibility that there are no issues, even when I think there are the problem with trying to solve big issues.

If you’re trying to solve big issues by doing the work you’re, you’ll probably feel the need to look for big situations to bring to the work, and you set the stage for intimidation and disappointment. You’ll be looking to go deep to find the mother of all situations. You’ll be easily [00:39:00] dissatisfied when you do this, though.

You may not even start the work because of this. It seems just too big. It’s like trying to find a mirror big enough, like perfect enough to reflect your whole life in it, and that might be impossible. It’s like certainly very difficult. That’s the problem with problem solving, but when I just do the work on what came up today, it’s easy.

That’s how I like to do the work. I let life show me what to work on next. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a strategy. I just wait for the next trip wire that I happen to stumble over, and then I do my work on that. It’s that easy. I don’t need a mirror the size of a city to see my life. I can see it perfectly well reflected in the tiny and big events of daily living.

My partner and I laughed about it last night. [00:40:00] There was a mosquito in the house that was zooming around and my partner said that the mosquito was not sure what it wanted to do. We both laughed because my partner partner was feeling exactly that way. In that moment, I. He had been trying to read a book and that he didn’t really like and he was getting up and down trying to decide whether to keep reading or find something else to do.

The mosquito was literally his mirror in that moment, so his off the cuff judgment about the mosquito described his own mind perfectly in that particular situation. That’s how the work works. The work takes any situation. It doesn’t matter how small, and invites me to write my thoughts about it, and it unfailingly shows me who I am in that moment.

That’s why I trust it. There’s no need to unearth the past yet. If some big past situation comes up for me, great. I’m open to [00:41:00] work it when it comes up of its own accord. But there’s no need to find the perfect thought to question. There’s no pressure. I know that I can see myself just as well in a tiny mirror as I can in a big mirror.

Small mirrors also have the distinct advantage of both being easier to hold and easier to find. There’s tons of them everywhere. And here’s a quote from Byron Katie from her book, loving. What is, if you don’t know what to write about, wait. Life will give you a topic. Maybe a friend didn’t call you back when she said she would, and you’re disappointed.

Maybe when you were five years old, your mother punished you for something you didn’t do. Maybe you’re upset or frightened when you read the newspaper or think about the suffering in the [00:42:00] world.