Ease the Urgency: A Deadline Meditation
for HSPs to Avoid Overwhelm

By the end of this episode, you’ll discover new ways of looking at your deadline that can allow you more space to be creative and effective. Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I’m your host Todd Smith, a certified facilitator of the work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I’m a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you’ll discover how to question your basic assumptions about a deadline, how to loosen your attachment to the external and pay more attention to the internal, and how to stay in your creative zone by holding deadlines more loosely. This is an edition of Guided Meditation Mondays. I’ll be guiding you to do the work of Byron Katie as you listen.

Begin this meditation by thinking of a time when you felt pressured by a deadline. Deadlines can be small, they can be large, but they often have this experience of pressure. So, think of a time when you’re actually feeling that pressure. Maybe it’s happening now, maybe there’s something you need to get done by a certain time, or maybe it’s a past situation.

And if you find a past situation, you can use it as if it’s happening to you. You can just go back and immerse yourself in that time, and this process will work just as well.

I’m thinking of a situation for myself, actually present, where I’m trying to decide on the final cover art for this podcast. Thank you to everyone who has given your input. It’s been super helpful. I kind of put a little deadline on myself. I want it done by tomorrow—literally tomorrow. And probably by the time you’re listening to this, it will already be chosen.

In the moment, there’s this feeling of pressure. In this case, it’s self-imposed. How are you under pressure for a particular kind of deadline? Self-imposed counts just as much.

If you need more time, you can pause the recording and just find a time. Once you do, see if you can be there, feel the feeling, see the images, and experience it firsthand, even if it happened in the past.

We’re going to do the work of Byron Katie now, based on this situation. The work of Byron Katie is four questions and turnarounds, which I’ll be asking. This will allow you to begin to work through this and possibly find other ways of experiencing it.

The first thing we have to do to do the work of Byron Katie is to identify a thought that is coming up with this stressful feeling, that’s connected to this stressful feeling. So, if you have a deadline and you’re feeling pressure, what are you believing about that deadline? What are you believing in this situation that’s causing this pressure?

There may be many beliefs. Today, we’re going to work with just one thought: “I need to finish it on time.” There may be others related, like “I need to do a good job,” but for now, we’re going to pick the thought: “I need to finish it on time.” Let’s question this thought together.

So, be in your situation, experience it for yourself, and find your answers as we go through this process.

You need to finish it on time. Is it true? This is just a yes or no. So take your time with it. You need to finish it on time. Is it true?

For me, I have to admit that it’s a no. It’s not true. But in case it’s true in your case, then answer the next question of the work, which is: Can you absolutely know it’s true that you need to finish it on time? Again, yes or no.

Regardless of your answer, let’s go to the third question of the work: How do you react? What happens when you believe that you need to finish it on time and there’s a deadline?

What is the sensation you feel in your body? That feeling of pressure, constriction? Where do you notice it? I notice it in my heart, even in my throat a little bit. There’s a tension in my arms.

What do you notice?

My feet want to bounce around a little bit. My fingers want to move.

Then what’s the emotion you feel when you think, “I need to finish it on time,” and you’re not sure you’re going to be able to? It’s very tight. For me, it’s frustration. Almost anger, a little bit.

Anxiousness. I feel anxious.

What happens to your mind when you’re thinking, “I need to finish it on time”?

My mind gets very busy. It’s trying to figure out how to do it. It starts planning. Then it’s not sure if it can, and I start to feel disheartened. Then I want to give up. I want to procrastinate.

Yeah, it’s stressful.

“I need to finish it on time.” How else do you react when you believe this thought?

How do you treat yourself when you think, “I need to finish it on time”? I’m impatient with myself, and I put myself last. I don’t honor taking care of myself, or at least I’m tempted not to. Basically, I treat myself as if I’m second, and the project is first.

But that’s how I treat myself when I’m thinking, “I need to finish it on time”—like, all hands on deck, forget everything, do this one job, and who cares how you feel. I’m not kind to myself.

So, the next question of the work is: Who would you be right now, in that past situation, without the thought, “I need to finish it on time”?

I notice I breathe deeply for the first time in a little while. Something relaxes. I start to feel that energy coming in again—happiness, creativity.

Without the thought, “I need to finish it on time,” I feel more interested in the actual doing, like, what’s the next step? When I’m believing I need to finish it on time, I stop paying attention to the steps. I’m much more focused on getting there, which feels impossible.

Without the thought, “I need to finish it on time,” suddenly there’s room for me to do it the way I like to do it—well, slowly, and with flexibility to move with the project. It starts to feel like fun.

So, this is the effect of the thought, “I need to finish it on time.” When that thought is there, it becomes stressful, almost impossible. Without the thought, there’s openness, curiosity, and engagement.

So, how would you turn the thought around? “I need to finish it on time.”

The opposite would be: “I don’t need to finish it on time.” Now, a turnaround is just a new way of looking at it. It’s the opposite. Think of it as your new hypothesis.

Could it be that you don’t need to finish it on time? Could there be examples?

I often find deadlines are more negotiable than I used to think. In school, I always thought I had to finish it on time, or I’d get no credit—like it was all or nothing. But in real life, there’s almost always room for negotiation.

How else? Look at your situation specifically. How is it that you don’t need to finish on time?

Does it really matter if my project is a week or a month late? It’s a long-term asset. Who says it has to be done this week or next?

What are deadlines for anyway? Aren’t we just using them to motivate ourselves to get it done? If we’re going to get it done anyway, why bother with the deadline?

If it involves others, can’t I communicate with them?

The real need is to create something useful, not just meet a deadline. It’s more important to do it well.

You could push the envelope and say, “I need to finish it late.” It’s kind of like saying, “I need to do it wrong.” How could that serve you?

For me, finishing late communicates that I do things slower but well. It shows who I am, especially as an HSP. I need to finish late to show that I value my health, my low-stress level. This is how I grow in my ability to work and take care of myself.

So, this is the work of Byron Katie. This is questioning a stressful thought and thinking in the opposite direction of what we normally do. This process balances the situation, so you’re not bound by the stress of deadlines.

Thank you for listening.