Easing Decision Fatigue: A Guided Stress Relief Meditation for HSPs

 By the end of this episode, you’ll discover how to experience your next decision with less pressure and stress.

Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I’m your host Todd Smith, a facilitator of the work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I’m a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you’ll discover How we put extra, unnecessary pressure on ourselves when making decisions. How to remove that pressure through a little gentle inquiry. And how to live more freely in a world where decisions come up all the time. This is an edition of Guided Meditation Mondays, where I’ll be guiding you to do the work of Byron Katie as you listen.

Making decisions can be stressful for anyone, but it can be especially stressful for highly sensitive people, because we tend to look so deeply into things that And we tend to analyze things and ruminate on things more than other people. It’s easy to get hung up on which path do I take? Should I go this way?

Should I go that way? And as highly sensitive people, we tend to look into the future more than non HSPs. At least that’s my experience. That I’m looking down the road, what the, what are the repercussions of taking this fork in the road or taking the other fork in the road? And there might be a whole lot of things to think about different interactions between different things, and it can get complex very quickly.

If you’re experiencing some stress about making a decision, whether it’s a small decision or a big decision, then Let’s do a little inquiry to see if we can loosen that stress a little bit. So decisions have to be made, it’s just, do they have to be stressful? So think of a time, maybe it’s now, when you’re deciding something.

You’re it’s either in the background, you’re chewing on it for a while, and you’re coming to having to make a decision, or it’s something that’s really up front and you have to make a decision soon. See if you can find a spot where you are in the throes of a decision, trying to decide.

The more specific you can find, better it will be when we’re doing this work together.

So for example, I’m at a stage in my business where I’ve been transitioning a little bit. And I have an old website and I have a new website, and I’m trying to decide whether I keep my old website or integrate the two into one new website. And it’s a big decision it’s something that’s been weighing on my mind for a few months.

And. And so that’s my situation. In this case, I’m not so much focused on the specific moment, but at the overall decision making. Could be though, came up recently, when I was trying to decide Yeah, it’s been coming up a little more closely, but I can’t say I have a specific moment.

So how about you? Where are you trying to make a decision, and where is it stressing you?

And feel free to pause the recording if you need some time to identify something specific. So the first question, actually before we get to any questions, We need to decide on a thought to question. What is making this decision making stressful for you? What could it be? And the thought that comes to me is, I need to make the right decision.

There may be other stressful thoughts here, but that’s the one that has the most weight for me. And I think that’s the one that’s weighing me down. So see if you can find that in your situation, where you’re believing, on some level, that you need to make the right decision, or the best decision, the optimal decision, that kind of thing.

Okay, so now let’s begin with the four questions and turnarounds of the work. First question is it true? Is it true that you need to make the right decision, the best decision? Is that true? Just a yes or a no.

That’s a decision right there. Gotcha. Is it true? Yes or no? You need to make a decision. You need to make the right decision.

And go with your gut. Go with your honesty. Whatever that feels like. We’re not trying to be slick and quickly change our minds here. We’re wanting to slow down and get in touch with the feeling. So is it true you need to make the right decision, a good decision, the best decision?

When I’m honest, I’m going with a yes. I do. So whatever yours is, just land on a yes or no.

And if your answer was yes, that it’s true, then the next question for you would be Can you absolutely know it’s true? Are you sure that you need to make the right decision, the best decision?

And for me, it’s a no.

Third question, how do you react? What happens when you believe on some level, maybe it’s just a feeling level, maybe even almost unconscious, but if you’re believing that you need to make The right decision? What happens? How do you react?

For me, I feel pressure.

There’s a tightness in my body. I’m

not relaxed.

Sleep is not as good.

What happens to you? And look at your situation. What do you start doing?

I start going down one road, like a mile or two. Then I turn around, come back and go down the other road a mile or two. I’m like, I can get really hung up. Start looking at all the repercussions, trying to compare them, trying to hold a spreadsheet of data in my brain. And it’s exhausting.

I also add some extra emotion. by imagining what would happen if I don’t make the right decision. Like I imagine it’ll be a, I did something too hasty or not very strategic and I lose, like I might lose, my business might be in trouble. So then, okay, then the emotions start coming up. I could feel it.

Belly starts to feel that fear, heart,

and then I double down, gotta make the right decision, make the right decision. What happens to you?

My downtime, my meditation time, my rest time is invaded by continual analysis.

It’s like I’m trying to be somewhere where I can’t be yet, trying to be in the future,

and I treat myself with impatience. Come on, figure it out.

There may be more reactions, but this is a good taste of it. The next question of the work is, who would you be without the thought? So imagine yourself in this same decision making situation. Who would you be without the thought, without the feeling that you need to make the right decision? Imagine.

It may be hard to imagine. See if you can find some reference of what it might be like if you didn’t have that thought at all.

What I start to see is a kind of open curiosity like a kind of spirit of exploration. And I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m feeling my way along and it’s, I’m just curious what I’m going to stumble up against.

I’m less future oriented, I’m more here, and

yeah, it feels like I’m in the gathering information stage still, and in the sitting with stage, it’s still settling. Without the thought I need to make the right decision, I’m taking my time.

And like I was joking with question one, is it a yes or a no, it’s a decision, I I might be taking it a little more lightly. Okay, there’s that. I’ll just make this decision. I’ll just go in this direction, not knowing whether it’s going to be right or not. It’s just eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

It sounds almost irresponsible. But what I’m noticing in this is there’s a certain goodness in that. There’s a certain balance to my hyper responsibility that comes from believing this thought. I need to make the right decision. I would be looser.

And what’s interesting is I’m just sitting in this. With that looseness, it’s actually easier to see the landscape and I can see my websites. I can see where I’m going and see what I’m doing. It’s not overwhelming. It’s just, Oh, I think this is starting to take shape. Not sure where it’s going, but it’s starting to take shape.

And so I’m much more available. to this situation, and I’m much more in touch with it. My guess is, I’ll probably make a better decision as a result. Ironic. But that’s who I’d be if I didn’t have this thought, I need to make the right decision.

So let’s turn it around. I need to make the right decision. An opposite would be, I don’t need to make the right decision. So how could this opposite, which sounds strange at first, how could it be as true Or maybe even truer, than you need to make the right decision. Is that possible? Look at your situation.

How is it okay if you don’t make the right decision?

How is it not the end of the world for you? You

know, what that does for me is it backs me up to a much bigger perspective. And, let’s just say, I chose the wrong decision in these, which website and everything to keep or not keep, And let’s say I just lost a whole bunch of clients, or my business started to suffer, or I lost an opportunity, my sales went to a trickle.

If that happened, would that be the end of the world for me? No. I’ve spent more than a decade being in the trickle area. I’m very comfortable there. I’m not alone. I have a partner and my life does not depend on my business completely financially. So when I look in my particular situation, I see some backup.

I see some, and worst case scenario, I say my business fails. I could get any other job. There’s so many jobs that could be fulfilling, could take care of me financially. In other words, if I don’t make the right decision, and it’s not like my whole life depends on this particular decision,

but when I’m in that thought, I need to make the right decision, it’s like everything depends on this. This is life or death. And what I’m seeing right now is, That’s not true. It’s not life or death. It’s like life or life.

So I don’t need to make the right decision. That’s freeing. It loosens it. I still would like to make the right decision. I still like to make a good decision. That’s still there, but it’s nice to see that I don’t have to. Worst comes to worst, I’m going to be fine.

Think in your situation. Maybe you might lose your job, or you might lose something. Lose an opportunity. Lose a relationship or something. How is it that you’ll still be fine if that happens?

That’s what this turnaround is pointing to. I don’t need to be fine. To make the right decision. So why put so much pressure on myself?

So is there another turnaround? I need to make the right decision. Another opposite would be it’s a little more extreme. I need to make the wrong decision that we’re going to push it here. How can making the wrong decision actually be helpful?

The non optimal decision, how could that be helpful?

As much as I dislike it, making mistakes is the number one way that I learn things. Like, when I learn by making a mistake, It sticks forever. I never have to study it, review it, usually make that mistake again. So great. I’m going to learn something if I do it wrong, if I make the wrong decision.

And my life doesn’t end with this decision. This is just one step of many throughout my life. So I’m going to carry whatever I take from this decision making process And it’s going to be experience that’s going to support me as I keep moving forward. Who knows how many other decisions that will support throughout my life.

So I need to make the wrong decision. We’re just doing this to be devil’s advocate with ourselves and just be like, wait a minute. This is not as, serious as I thought. I don’t have to get it right the first time.

Think about how many times a baby falls before they walk. Imagine if they tried to put the pressure on themselves that they need to get it right the first time. Oh my gosh, it’d never walk. So I need to make some wrong decisions. Just because that means I’m keeping the ball rolling. It means I’m keeping engaged, not getting caught in a loop in my mind.

Better. What I’m finding here is I’m playing with this better to just take an action after some consideration, take an action and maybe it’s wrong, but at least I’m engaged. It’s still moving forward.

And sometimes I make them make a decision. I can overturn that decision too. Can go back. Not always, but sometimes, but nevertheless, even if I can’t go back going forward, I’m going to have more experience under my belt. So for me, this softens the idea of. wrong decision. Suddenly, it’s not a bad thing or best.

I always try to do an optimal job, try to do my best, but not doing my best is a super learning experience. In this episode, we looked at how we put extra unnecessary pressure on ourselves when making decisions. And this is that idea that we have to make the right decision. This can make an ordinary decision suddenly become a stressful experience and can just get in the way of what would naturally come up in that situation for us.

We also looked at how to remove that pressure through a little gentle inquiry. And that’s the power of inquiry. When your mind is pointed in one direction, it will start trying to prove how that direction works. is the direction you want to be going in. So I need to make a right decision. And then you start having all the reasons why you need to make a right decision.

And the mind just starts getting locked in to this stressful thought without ever looking at whether it’s really even working for them for it or not. And so what inquiry does is it reverses that and says, is it true? Are you sure? How does that affect you? How do you Who would you be without it?

And Then, could you imagine that the opposite might actually be worth exploring? And when you move in that direction, the mind will do the same thing, and it will start finding the reasons why that is true. And this balances things, and it pulls you out of that trap that the mind so easily gets into. What we found is, when you question it, and find that even making the wrong decision could be a good thing or at least is not the end of the world, then it takes that pressure off.

And finally, we looked at how to live more freely in a world where decisions come up all the time. And obviously, it’s not just a one decision. There’s one after the other. And yeah, we have to pace ourselves. We can’t overdo it. And of course, we can get overwhelmed, especially as highly sensitive people.

But what makes it easier is if we’re not clinging to the idea that it has to be the right decision or the best decision, rather, seeing it as a work in progress and I’ll just make a decision and we’ll see where that goes. I’ll either learn something or it’ll work out and then I’ll repeat and over time we become wiser and more effective in our actions.

And that’s built on all the previous decision makings that we’ve done. But if we never enter into it because of the paralysis of having to make the right decision, it evolution doesn’t happen. So thanks for listening. It’s great to do this work with you and to think about this important issue with you, and I look forward to next time.

So thanks again and have a great day.