Quiet Time Without Shame: A Guided Meditation for HSPs

By the end of this episode, you’ll discover how to loosen your self-judgment and shame about your need for quiet time as an HSP.

Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I’m your host, Todd Smith, a facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I’m a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you’ll discover that you’re not alone in feeling weird that you need more downtime than others, how to use a real situation when someone shames you to do your inner work, and why those who take quiet time have distinct advantages in their lives. This is an edition of Guided Meditation Mondays, where I’ll be guiding you to do The Work of Byron Katie as you listen.

Today, we’re going to question the thought, “I’m a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for myself.” If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may relate to this. We as highly sensitive people need more time for quiet and alone time, but it’s not always understood, and we may feel shame or self-conscious about it.

I invite you to find a time when you had a thought similar to this. It may not be in the exact words, but basically this feeling that you’re weird, or strange, or odd for wanting some quiet time or time for yourself. Maybe other people were wanting to do something else, and you just wanted to be inward, quiet, and have some rest time.

Find a time when that was stressful—where you got triggered a little bit, maybe even when someone shamed you for wanting that time, causing stress and insecurity. Take a minute to see if you can find a specific moment.

For me, I’m thinking of a time when I decided, maybe about six months or a year ago, to only play pickleball twice a week. I was playing three or four times a week, but I wanted to start taking Sundays to just read or be alone. My partner, on the other hand, wanted to play all the time, which made me feel self-conscious.

So, when was a time for you when you felt a little weird, strange, or bad for needing some quiet time or wanting some time for yourself? Do you have a specific time?

I remember talking about it. I can remember where I was—that kind of specificity can help as we do this work. If you need more time to find one, pause the recording and take as long as you need.

We’re going to question the thought, “I’m a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for myself.” Keep in mind, the rational mind may think, “Of course, that’s not true. I’m beyond that. That’s not really an issue for me.” But pay attention—if you got triggered, there’s a part of you that does believe this. Let that part answer these questions because it’s the part that’s holding you back and feeling stuck.

First question: Is it true? Is it true that you’re a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for yourself? Just a yes or no.

You may notice your mind going back and forth, trying to think it through. But if you had to boil it down, what would you say? Is it true that you’re a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for yourself?

For me, it depends on who I’m referring to. If I’m thinking about myself, I might say, “No, it’s not weird at all.” But if I’m thinking about my partner in that situation, I start to think I’m weird. So, keep playing with it—what do you see?

If you answered “yes,” move to the next question: Can you absolutely know it’s true? Can you be sure that you’re a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for yourself in that situation? Answer honestly.

Third question: How do you react? What happens when you think that you’re a weirdo in your situation?

For me, my energy shuts down. I start to feel small. I want to hunch my shoulders and hide. I feel conflicted—I want my quiet space but don’t want to be a weirdo, so I’m conflicted and stressed. I notice that I start hemming and hawing. I don’t speak as clearly, and my brain kind of shuts down. I’m unable to explain my need coherently and feel ashamed.

What happens to you when you think you’re a weirdo for needing quiet space? Look at your specific situation. What emotions come up?

Now, fourth question: Who would you be without the thought? Who would you be in the same situation if you didn’t think you’re a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for yourself?

Without the thought, I feel much bolder. I would say, “I’m just going to play pickleball twice a week,” and I’d be interested in how it might affect my partner. I’d be engaged in a conversation, willing to discuss it. Without the thought, I’m not dominated by self-judgment and can present my need clearly and fairly. I feel more like myself—cooperative and open.

Who would you be without the thought? How would you treat that need, treat yourself, and treat those around you?

Now, turn the thought around: “I’m not a weirdo for needing quiet space and time for myself.” How could that be as true or truer?

For me, I remember that everyone needs quiet space—even non-HSPs. It’s not weird to take care of oneself, especially as an HSP who can get overwhelmed easily. It’s actually a form of self-kindness and intelligence.

Good things come from quiet time—ideas, energy, and balance. It’s not weird; it’s necessary for well-being. Without rest, we become less pleasant to be around. Quiet time isn’t just for us—it’s a service to others too.

Remember that highly sensitive people make up about 20 percent of the population, so you’re not alone. Great thinkers like Einstein, Virginia Woolf, and Gandhi valued solitude and found creativity there.

Another turnaround: “I should take quiet space and time for myself.” This feels true—it’s essential for clarity and kindness, both to myself and others. Taking quiet time isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for balanced living.

In this episode, we explored how you’re not alone in feeling weird about needing more downtime, how to use real situations when someone shames you to do your inner work, and the distinct advantages of prioritizing quiet time.

Thank you for being here and for doing this work with me. I look forward to more sessions and other interesting episodes to come. Have a great rest of your day.