The Myth of “Doing Everything Well”: Why Simplification is Essential

By the end of this episode, you’ll discover how to streamline your projects so that you can give your all without burning out.

Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I’m your host Todd Smith, a facilitator of the work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I’m a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you’ll discover how to avoid one of the biggest causes of overwhelm for HSPs at work, being super thorough. How to conscientiously offer less while fully meeting the needs of those you serve. And why streamlining your projects will be appreciated by everyone. This is an edition of Strategy Fridays, where we think about specific things you can do to help manage stress as a highly sensitive person.

Let’s get into some sacred territory for HSPs. As you know, thoroughness is one of our greatest strengths, and We’re kind of playing with the idea of getting rid of that. So you may be going, what? You want me to get rid of my greatest strength? You want me to get rid of my thoroughness, my ability to go deep, my ability to produce an output that will wow people because of its thoroughness?

And I’m saying let’s look. I’m not saying thoroughness is bad. Of course not. Thoroughness is my favorite, one of my favorite qualities about myself. I am super thorough in just about everything I do. So I’d be lying to tell you that we’re going to get rid of thoroughness. But we’re looking for balance because what is telling us that things are not quite 100% is that feeling of stress.

And I’ve noticed this, um, many times in my life. I can experience it these days, actually, because I am inside the rabbit hole working on several big projects all at the same time. And that desire to do it all really well is, um, it can be overwhelming very quickly. So if I look at one of the, um, things that I like to do, I love to design courses.

It’s something that I’ve always enjoyed doing. And I, I get a lot of joy out of it and it’s something that I put a lot of time into. Now, when I design a course, I like to be very detailed, very thorough. I like to dot all my i’s, cross all my T’s as much as possible. And one of my main courses is the Work 1 0 1 course, which I created, originally created about 10 years ago.

And, uh, it has, each lesson has videos, each lesson has a PDF, each lesson has, uh, homework. There are five, uh, days of homework each, five lessons each week. Um, and then either I or trainers give feedback on, uh, on participants when they do their homework in our community. And so the structure of that and the, the, um, overall format.

Has, uh, a lot of detail in it and it’s, uh, detail oriented for me as a creator, but also detail oriented for those who participate and people get a lot out of it when they put a lot into it. So yeah, at the end of the course, people have spent probably 40 hours of time doing the work. Learning about the work, and I do this on purpose because I really want people to have a really strong experience and I’ve learned over time what works and what doesn’t work and, and so yes, this is a thorough course.

Now the problem comes is I’m now also adding in this whole idea of highly sensitive people into my business, and I’m getting ready to create a course, a stress management course for highly sensitive people. And so what happens in the back of my mind is I start thinking it’s got to be super thorough.

It’s got to be like the work 101. It’s got to have videos, PDFs, homework, feedback, community, everything. And it should all be done beautifully. And oh, yeah, let’s get that done in, you know, a couple months or something like that. So this is. The kind of thing that can make you go crazy in terms of stress, if you’re, if you’re a highly sensitive person.

You’ve got a deadline, more or less, my own deadlines, but I’ve got some kind of idea to finish this, and to do that really well would really take years to do, just like it did to take, uh, the Work 101 from a very beginning course into something that is much more robust, uh, the way it is today. So, that stress experience, um, tells me, it’s like a little alarm saying, Hold on, you need to rethink this because you’re just going to burn yourself out without even producing anything because of this desire to be super thorough, to do it really, really well.

So this is a common trap for all of us HSPs. It’s something we like to do. We’re conscientious. We like to do things well. We’re not afraid of doing hard things. We’re not afraid of doing complex things and doing them really well. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of attention and awareness to do those things.

And so that’s fine with an unlimited time schedule, but life, uh, doesn’t always give us that. And it’s important to start thinking about how, at least for me, how to do the same job in a less thorough way. Like, is there an option that I’m not locked into only doing it? in the thorough way. Is there a way that I can make this doable for myself and still accomplish the same, uh, goals, which is to actually provide real value to the people that I serve?

The problem comes is that for a lot of us, me included, We take pride in doing things well, we take pride in doing these hard things, these complex things, and, and coming through with them. And so, there’s a little bit of an attachment there. And so one thing that can help is to actually question some of those attachments.

Like, I need to do a really, I need, I need, let’s look why is there attachment first before we question it. Who am I trying to please? That’s really probably what’s going on. Am I trying to look good? Am I trying to do an extraordinary job? Like, why? Is there somebody I’m trying to please? Is it my boss? Is it my clients?

Is it my parents? Um, who is it? Is it myself? And if I can find out who I’m trying to please, often if it’s myself, it’s usually because I’m still trying to please somebody else. So if you can find out who you’re trying to please and then question that you need to please them, You may find that that attachment starts to lessen a little bit and you have a little less need to do it, um, as perfectly.

So another question that can help loosen it a little bit and is important to ask, I find, is, does this, this super full version that I’m planning, does it, is it really going to meet the needs of those I serve? In other words, is all of that necessary or if it is, how important it is. Um, because my assumption is that everybody wants to go all out.

Everyone has unlimited time and everyone wants to, uh, just put as much time into it as, as I would put into it. And that may not necessarily be true. People, uh, have limitations in their schedule and there’s all kinds of reasons. So just asking that question of like, is it necessary? And what is necessary can already start beginning.

Uh, to help streamline this idea of what you’re trying to produce. Um, my teacher once, uh, had a great little phrase. Uh, it said that writing is a graphical display in a harmonious way. of all those elements that are necessary. And he was writing, he was talking about writing, the art of writing, which is great.

Uh, but it applies to doing any kind of project. It’s like graphical display, you know, harmonious way. That’s kind of poetic, but we’re basically putting the main things there that are necessary of all those elements that are necessary. And in other words, not the elements that are not necessary. Okay. And every good writer knows that what you leave out of a story, what you take out in the editing process, is actually more important to making that story read really well than, um, than what you leave in, ironically enough.

So, yeah, this is giving us a little bit of sense that maybe, Editing a little could be a good thing. One final thing to look at, and that is that, is this doable for me on a balanced routine? And knowing that I’m a highly sensitive person, I need more rest. I need more downtime just to, just to stay balanced.

So, am I asking myself to do more than, like, the average person would do when I actually have, uh, less, I have more need for downtime than the average person? So, if that’s the case, then I have to really rethink, is this, does this really make sense?

So, how to conscientiously offer less. So, there seems to be a real need to rethink a little bit This desire or this need to do everything really, really, really well, especially, um, if there’s any kind of time pressure. So, how can we actually offer less, huh, sounds so, yeah, so sacrilegious, huh, how can we conscientiously offer less while still thinking about meeting the needs of those that you serve, fully meeting those needs.

I’m not talking about. You know, uh, scrimping or cutting in a way that it’s going to negatively impact the people you serve. I’m thinking about, is there any way we can streamline it so that it might even serve them better? So, as I was thinking about this course that I’m working on, um, I realized that it doesn’t have to be like the Work 101.

It doesn’t have to be, uh, so detailed, so homework intense. There’s, uh, there are often more informational things that I’ll be delivering and that in just really a couple sessions a week, um, I think the whole thing could be delivered very seamlessly and very easily. And maybe, maybe one bit of homework a week, or maybe not even any homework a week.

Like this is radical for me, like the homework junkie. So, um, this is the kind of thinking that I’m going is like, Okay, would this serve the same purpose? Would it deliver the same impact? Would it still be as valuable if I didn’t make all the details? And, uh, my, as I look at it, I think that the answer is yes.

And I also know that a course is never a one time thing. You do, you create it and then you recreate it and then you recreate it. There’s version after version after version. And so I don’t need to come up with the most elaborated version of it in the first iteration. And I think, um, keeping it simple may actually make it more impactful for the people who participate because they’re able to to really focus on the main important things, let that settle in and go deeply with it, let it almost work in the unconscious for a while instead of constantly being super active.

So if you decide to streamline in some way a project that you’re working on, what will you keep and what will you do away with? That’s really the question. The mind tends to think it’s all or nothing. Either I go all out or I don’t do this project at all. Is there a way you can keep the important things and trim away some of the things that are nice but not necessary or that tend to clutter and distract because there’s so many of them?

I think it’s an exercise in looking at what is the most important thing I’m trying to do here. What is the most important point I’m trying to make? Or what is the most important exercise I’m trying to give? What is the, what is the essence of what I’m doing? And if you can say what you’re doing, or if you can do what you’re doing, in its essence, then that’s a very strong communication skill.

And if you can do it in seed form and then add elaborations to whatever degree you’re able to or whatever the need is then you’re in a really strong place.

So, why would streamlining your projects be appreciated by people? Um, you know, first of all, people have limited time to consume things. They don’t have, you know, they don’t always have the time that you think they would want to have. to participate. And so you doing them a favor, if you can give them the short version, if you can give them the main points, the important points, if you can drive home again and again, what is most important, people are going to thank you for that.

And that goes in a job setting as well, not just in a consumer setting. So also, um, giving the most important things with emphasis is helpful for clarity. If you have Maybe, you know, a hundred things to present and they’re all thrown out equally and they’re just scattered in this large presentation. It’s hard for a participant or a, a user to know what’s the important thing.

It’s just that everything’s equal. But if you remove say 90 percent of those, let’s just go extreme. And there’s now just 10 things there. Then you can start getting an idea of, okay, these much more important. And maybe you would go down even further and say there’s only three things that are really important here.

I want you to come away with these three things and then here it is. Or there’s just one thing. And this one thing is really what I’m trying to communicate to you. So this is what streamlining is. And it is. Forces clarity, it forces you to to become clear on what is important, and then it forces the the end user to become clear naturally following your lead.

So streamlining is actually very helpful for the people who are using the. end product as much as for you who are creating it. Because it means you don’t have to create a hundred things, you can just create three things, or one thing, or ten things. Uh, so this forces you to get clear. Um, it also gives something really, really important for highly sensitive people.

We love to go deeply Into the important things we love for us. It’s fun to have some kind of deep focus and to really explore one thing thoroughly. So getting back to where we started, thoroughness is not a bad thing as long as there’s a focus to it. As long as it’s not throw in a thousand directions.

Throw in a thousand directions is stress provoking. Throw in one direction is absolutely enjoyable. It’s fun. It’s what we live for. So if you streamline, you’re going to allow yourself to go deeply into the important things and really have the fun of that deep focus that we HSPs love. And then you’ll also have energy left over if you haven’t spent it all, uh, trying to do too much.

You’ll have energy left over to deliver the final product, to explain it, to answer questions. And as you know, um, with, with any kind of project, if you’re, um, if you’re open to it, and I think you would be more open to it if you’re not trying to do it so perfectly, Then you’re a little less attached to this perfect project and therefore more open to feedback and iteration.

So now you become more of a player with the end user or the boss or whoever it is that is, that you’re giving this project, completed project to, and you can begin to, uh, take it to the next step. Like you’re still excited because there’s still energy. Okay. And you’re able to, um, to, to still be interested in the project.

But when I try to do something perfectly, I don’t want to ever see that project again. I’ve done it. It’s checked off my list. I’ve put all my energy into it. I’ve probably burned myself out. And I’m like, if someone asked me one thing to change or give me one little feedback, I’m just like too much. But if I’ve only put.

80 percent of my energy into it, and I’ve conserved some because I wanted to stay balanced. And then I come back and somebody has some changes. I’m like, Oh, great idea. I still have that energy. I still have that, um, enthusiasm to keep going. So these are just a few ideas to get you thinking about how streamlining could actually be not only beneficial to you for your health, for your mental health.

But also for those who, uh, that you serve, uh, because when you provide something that has, is streamlined, you, uh, you actually are doing them a favor. You’re giving them something easier to digest, and you’re including them, and you’re more open to feedback. In this episode, we looked at how to avoid one of the biggest causes of overwhelm for HSPs at work, being super thorough.

And we saw that being super thorough is a great thing, it’s a natural tendency of HSPs, and there’s no need to get rid of it completely. But if you notice that it’s making your project bigger and harder for you, pay attention to that stress, because it may be worth looking at and questioning. the underlying assumption that you have to do it that thoroughly.

We also looked at how to conscientiously offer less while fully meeting the needs of those you serve. After all, the main purpose of serving people is to meet the needs of those you serve. We are serving, and it’s easy to forget that sometimes doing things thoroughly is actually meeting our own needs more than those who we serve.

Keeping it simple may actually do that. And then finally, we looked at why streamlining your projects will probably be appreciated by everyone. There’s less time that people have to spend in consuming. They get the clarity of what’s most important, sort of like the cliff notes of, uh, what’s the real essence of what you’re being presented.

Um, and it also gives you a chance to not only stay rested, but to go deeply and have the joy of creating when you go deeply into a few things instead of trying to go deeply into many, many, many things. So thanks for listening. And It’s fun to think about these things with you, and I look forward to next time.

In the meantime, have a great rest of your day.

Dreaming of a stress free, balanced life? Visit TrueInnerFreedom. com and complete the HSP Stress Survey. Gain clarity on your stress triggers, and enjoy a free 15 minute Inner Freedom Call designed to guide you towards lasting inner peace and fulfillment.