Is the Dream of Wealth Keeping You Anxious? Inner Work for the Overwhelmed HSP

Client: So I’ve been like dealing, doing the work a little bit on different things related to money lately. You know, looking at the like different things about how everything is more expensive now and how it seems like money’s never enough to reach certain things and, and to do what you’re supposed to. And then I kind of.

That helped. But I feel like I would like to explore something that, um, I’ve been thinking about and I just recently, when I started looking at like the bank account and like all the debts and all the hass, all the things that I have, I like the thought just like came right away. It’s like it would be so much easier if I just was rich and I had a lot of money.

Like I wouldn’t have to worry about this at all. So, yeah. I kinda wanna explore that a [00:04:00] little bit more ’cause I haven’t done that.

Todd: Okay. That sounds great though. If I heard you quickly, it was, it would be so much easier if I was rich, um, or if I had a lot of money. Is there a preference there? If I was rich or if I had a lot of money?

The phrasing for you.

Client: I think for me they’re both pretty much the same. Like we could put it just like focus it on money itself. Like it would be so much easier if I had a lot of money. Okay. Sounds good.

Todd: So is that true? It would be so much easier if you had a lot of money.

Client: Oh yes, yes. Comes right away. I don’t even have to think about it.

That doesn’t happen too often. That’s great. No, it’s like, yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Todd: I will still ask your question too, which is can you absolutely know it’s true that you would, that it would be [00:05:00] so much easier if you had a lot of money?

Um,

Client: that one is not so much as of a yes if I think about it.

I think, no, not absolutely. Hmm.

Todd: Okay. So how do you react? What happens when you think it would be so much easier? If I had a lot of money?

Client: I get frustrated and I look at the numbers and I see a lot of things in red, and like it gets to my [00:06:00] head, I start comparing it like to a lot of other people, like rich people, of course, that don’t have, don’t even have to look at the numbers, like everything is taken care of and, and see how much easier it is for them to not have having to worry about that at all.

I see how I put myself in like a, a fantasy world in a way, and I see how these people can do whatever they want and focus on anything they want, but I’m stuck and I have to like focus on money and like try to survive that to be able to do then what I want to do. So I see like this is a huge obstacle right in front of me that I can seem to be able to climb and get over it.

I see how

like everything is a struggle [00:07:00] and it sucks. ’cause like, ah, here we go again. And I have to go through this all over again. Kind of a known path, but not in a. Good way. It’s like, it’s like a rocky way, like a lot of things on the way that you have to climb and go over and like do over again, and it doesn’t seem to end at all.

And I feel weak because it’s like, it just, it, it just feels that I can win it. It’s like if I look at it and like from a game perspective, it’s like I’ll lose it no matter what. And I see like people winning that game and I see all the benefits they have and how people treat ’em and like how happy in my mind they are and, and like the benefits that that will get to that I will get if I had [00:08:00] the same and then I fall into the up, but I don’t, so it doesn’t matter.

So it’s.

It’s bad and I start hesitating and I start doubting myself in like decisions that I made to see like maybe I took the wrong path, I should have picked some, a different career, or go somewhere else. You know, everything starts getting connected in like more dots. Join it. Then it’s just the, it’s a mess.

Like I can, it gets so deep that I don’t even think about money at the moment. It’s just like all decisions and all the bad thoughts connected to one another, and it is just tension in my body and I can seem to be able to just get out at all.

Todd: Yeah, it’s a powerful thought. [00:09:00] It’d be so much easier if I had a lot of money.

How do you treat your money when you think it would be much easier if you had a lot more of it?

Client: Hmm.

Not good because I see it like, because it’s not enough. It’s like, ah. Yeah, it’s,

it’s just not giving it much importance or anything, or actually being grateful at times because I don’t see it being enough. So it’s like, yeah, yeah, but it’s not what I needed, or something like that. So there’s always a huge, but yeah.

Todd: So who [00:10:00] would you be without the thought? It would be so much easier if you had a lot of money.

Client: Without the thought still sucks because I don’t have money, I don’t have enough. But I can also see like the reality of a, of a situation itself. I’ve seen a lot of people that have a lot of money committing suicide, for example, I. Like being depressed or not actually doing what I want. So I see like how that fantasy thing that I have in my mind for how would [00:11:00] it be for me if I had a lot of money.

It’s like face it faces that reality of that other side of people that actually do have a lot of money not being able to enjoy it or do what I think I would do if I had it.

And I can see how, yes, I don’t have a lot of money, but I do have enough to survive. I’m not leaving in the streets or you know, like many other people are. So I sit in my reality and I can see that and actually be grateful for it. So that’s interesting.

Uh,

I stopped comparing. Mm-hmm. That’s what I noticed right away too, [00:12:00] instead of comparing it, like I try to do the best that I can with what I have and not look at other people’s bank account or, or possessions or whatever they have. Things like that.

Todd: What would the experience be like as you’re looking at your finances and you said you had debt and um, you know, looking at the bank accounts and everything, and what would your experience be seeing your situation with money? If you’re not comparing it, if you’re not thinking it would be so much easier if you had a lot of money, how would you work with your financial situation without that story?[00:13:00]

Client: I think I can, I. Really sit down and appreciate it for what it is and like the service it provides for me, like the money that I do have and the one that I, I receive

rather than trying to like, yeah, just fall into the comparisons again and, and all that kind of stuff. Like I can see it for what it is and the benefits that it brings to me and my family.

I can see it a little bit as, um,

it’s kind of weird, but not as a thing anymore in a way. Because usually it’s just, it is just a, well, in reality, it’s just paper, right? So if you just put a different number on the paper or [00:14:00] whatever, it’ll be worth more. Or things like that. So it’s just like that. But like, I feel like by not looking at as, as just a thing, in a way, it, it makes me feel a little bit better because it’s like I’m seeing that it serves a purpose for me and I’m just letting it go as I receive it.

So it’s, it’s kind of weird. I feel like when, when I want to have a lot of money, it’s like I want to put it on a sale and kind of like trap it there and just keep it there for myself. But when I’m receiving it and I’m just like using it in a way, it is just, I’m letting it flow and not attaching too much to, to the money itself, which is kind of interesting.

Hmm. I never looked at it that way. [00:15:00]

Todd: Hmm. What does that feel like? What would that feel like to be in that flow compared to, oh my

Client: God,

Todd: what you

Client: were just describing.

Todd: Yeah.

Client: It feels like I just relist a rope or something that I was holding and like, wow. It’s like I feel like holding my. House with a rope, just like across every place where I go, just like holding it like this and like trying to drag it.

And now it’s like I just let it go. It’s like, oh, it can’t be there. And then it’ll be somewhere else if it is, and that feels like, oh my God, it feels like a drop. 400,000 kilos or something like that and just let it there.

So that’s interesting. And in my mind it feels like [00:16:00] I’ll just receive whatever I receive and I’ll use whatever I have to use. And that’s it. That’s the end of the story. Like I stop even. Going to the future and like, yes, there are things that you have to prepare for doing things like that, but I’m not living in there as much.

So it’s like, in a way, it’s okay with not doing some of those things that you expect to be doing, like to prepare yourself for retirement or things like that. So that’s really interesting.

Todd: Yeah. So. Hmm. With the thought stressed and thinking about what others have, and without the thought, more in the flow, more sounds like more easy.

Yeah, a lot more easy. [00:17:00] Even with the same amount of money. That’s the interesting thing. So there’s the money and then there’s the thought, right? That I, it would be so much easier if I had a lot of money. What we’re seeing here in this is that the thought is causing maybe more of the stress than the money itself.

Hmm. Or at least as much. So let’s try turning that thought around. It would be so much easier if I had a lot of money.

Client: It wouldn’t be an easier if I had a lot of money. Okay,

Todd: so let’s explore that. How could that be? What are the possibilities?

Client: Huh? That’s easy because some people, a lot of people actually [00:18:00] a. Money attracts a lot of bat people in a way, energy wise and like people that aren’t with you for the wrong reasons. So, so that will attract a lot of people that I don’t want, definitely don’t want done. Right. True. That wouldn’t make it easier at all.

Okay.

Todd: What else?

Client: Then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. Because it wouldn’t make it easier for me either, because

even right now you don’t enjoy some of the things that you thought you would enjoy if you get ’em. Like it could be just anything, not that expensive or anything, but you get it and it’s like, oh, okay. It’s for like just a few minutes and then the, the sense of greatness or whatever feeling it was there.

It’s gone. Saul. I imagine it won’t be the exact same thing, like if you could [00:19:00] buy any car or any house or go anywhere. So yeah. Yeah, that would’ve make it easier, because it’ll be actually harder to try and find those moments that are really more important than money, so. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

And also because I just realize now. With the thought, I have a stress of not having a lot of money, but then if I do. It wouldn’t be as easy because then I would have the stress of managing all that money and not wasting it, or like keeping it or things like that. So that will bring also stress in my life that I don’t want.

Yeah. So that wouldn’t be easier.

Todd: That’s a good point, right? The, the people who don’t have money have the stress of trying to get it, and people who have money have the stress of trying not to lose it. Right. Right.[00:20:00]

Okay. Keep going. Any other reasons why it would not maybe be so much easier if you had a lot of money?

Client: Because I wouldn’t even know how to handle that in a way. Like there’s a lot of people that you would like to help. But then I also know that giving people money is not helping them at all. It’s actually can create more issues because they don’t know how to control it either, or how to manage it. So.

That’s interesting.

And it wouldn’t make it easier because like, like we [00:21:00] just said, it’s just paper. Like if one day the government comes, like all the people in the world says, you know, that’s not worth anything anymore, then. We would have to adapt to whatever comes in, like go trading again, like things like that. So it would be just a bunch of paper and that’s it.

Todd: Hmm. Didn’t happen. It has happened in the past. Could happen again. Anytime. Yeah. Yeah. So anything more, it would not be so much easier if I had a lot of money. Imagine right now you have your situation where you’re living, your family, everything you’re doing, and suddenly you had, you know, millions of dollars, lots of money.

Who knows? Make it a [00:22:00] billion dollars. I don’t know, make it a lot of money. And look at your life. Can you see any things where it’s not getting easier?

Client: Hmm. Well, just right away the lifestyle would be completely different, and I don’t want that. I have a great lifestyle right now and I have enough, so I don’t want to change that. Having a lot of money. I’ll have to move somewhere else. I’ll have to get security. I would have to get a bunch of different things that that, that wouldn’t be nice.

Nice to happen all.

Todd: Yeah. What do you like [00:23:00]

Client: about your lifestyle right now? Well is that I don’t have a lot of money, but I do have enough and I can have fun and I have a family and I know they love me and I, we have a good time together and we spend a little bit of money here and there when we can. And that’s fun.

We do it for fun and when we can’t do it, we do all the things that are also fun that don’t, don’t, don’t require having any money. So. I don’t, I wouldn’t want to change that for a billion dollars or $2 billion or whatever. Right.

Todd: Doesn’t mean money’s not good. Right. And there’s a certain amount of money that, that, if I’m not having a certain amount, it can be a bit of a struggle, you know, a bit of, but. Where is that [00:24:00] struggle mainly happening? Right? Is it there is a certain amount of survival, but where is it really happening?

Yeah,

Client: I think it’s all comparison. It just comes down to comparison. Like if there’s a new car that comes out or a better house than the one you live in, or, yeah. Simple things like that, that will get old as soon as you get it out because there’s a new one tomorrow, always. So

Todd: as soon as you get your your next, uh, airplane, then there’s a better airplane,

Client: right?

There’s no way to keep up. No way.

Todd: The word was easier. It would be so much easier if I had a lot of money and I’m, what [00:25:00] I’m hearing is not necessarily easier.

Client: Not at all. Like you can see, I’m picturing myself having to, like, in, in the fantasy world, like you know how the celebrities are surrounded by people and they can’t even go to a mall.

They can’t even just walk on the street freely or just do like regular things just to go to the grocery store and get something. It’s like, that would be insane. Not being able to do any of that freely, like I can right now, nobody can almost, like you’re in a prison,

Todd: you know, like you can’t go out. You can’t just be as as, I mean you can, but it’s a different life, right?

It’s gonna be a very different life.

Client: Right.

And I usually like those quiet places that you can be at, and nobody cares if you’re there just like in a park [00:26:00] or like something like that. Mm-hmm. Where you just can be next to a tree and it’s okay and it feels good. Mm-hmm. You wouldn’t be able to do something as simple as that anymore.

Todd: What I love about that is how, how that feeling of easiness can be there.

Um, I. Without any money, like sitting next to a tree. Right,

Client: right. I can’t be right next to it in my mind, and I don’t have to think about anything else. Just be there. That’s it.

Todd: Yeah. Like for me, easiness is when, when

what I have and what I’m wanting are. The same, like I’m wanting what I have in a way and I’m comfortable with that. And un uneasy means for me when I’m wanting something that I [00:27:00] can’t have, it takes more money to get that. And when I want that and I’m attached to that, it’s, it’s not easy. It’s not stressful.

It’s stressful. So. I can always find an easy point if I can bring those two in alignment. You know what I want, what I have and doesn’t mean I don’t keep him keep growing, right? But we’re talking about easiness, how to be easy with any amount of money, zero or a billion.

I remember once reading something that if you don’t learn how to budget with a small income, then if you get a lot of money, you will still not know how to budget and some [00:28:00] of the same problems will be there. It’s the same. Nothing’s changed. Like the lot of winners who win a whole bunch of money and then they lose it all within a year or something, or a few years.

So is there any other turnaround? It would be so much easier if I had a lot of money.

Client: Um, it would be so much easier if I didn’t have a lot of money. Okay.

Todd: How could that be? Hmm? Like right now you don’t have a lot of money. How could it be easier than you think it is?

Client: Right. That makes a lot of sense. I don’t have too many things to lose. I. You know, if I had a lot of money then I would [00:29:00] have a lot of cars, a lot of houses, a lot of things to lose. But now I don’t, so I don’t have anything to lose. So that feels a lot lighter, for sure.

Todd: Yeah.

Client: Yeah.

Todd: What else is good about not having more money than you have right now?

Client: My budgeting is a lot easier, like for sure. Mm-hmm. Like, I don’t have to worry as much for that.

And the peace, I think, like I keep coming down, like without the thought. It’s just, it’s a lot more peaceful. If I had a lot of money, then I would have to worry about a lot of different things about investments going on, or like the people getting close to you because of the money, like things that [00:30:00] you invest and things like that.

But being right now without it, it makes it easier because I don’t have to worry about any of that stuff. I just can’t worry about little things here and there, and it’s enough so.

I can do it and I can be happy with it, and I don’t have to be depending on the money that I think I should be getting to. Mm-hmm. Make it all better.

Todd: Yeah. It’s almost that desire for money sometimes makes me think of just the desire to be a kid again and have. Everything taken care of and just Right.

You don’t have to do anything. Just mommy, show me.

Client: You know, gimme

Todd: something,

Client: daddy. Right. Just play sleep and then wake up and that’s it.

Todd: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. And that’s what we imagine is like if you have a lot of money, but Right. I don’t think it’s [00:31:00] actually the reality. Right, right.

Client: It’s like you get a lot of money, then all your problems are solved and then.

You go to sleep and then you wake up the next day and same thing.

Todd: Yeah. And you get new toys.

It’s like the opposite of being, uh, of taking responsibility, being like a responsible adult person or something. It’s like I’m being taken care of, which is great. Uh. What’s good about taking responsibility too? Do you, do you, is there anything that you like about that? Also?

Client: I see what you’re saying there.

It’s like, it’s exactly that. It’s like, I don’t want to save a hundred bucks because I, I wanna spend them like, I don’t have to save it because I need to pay bill. I just want to spend it. So it makes me think about that as a kid. But of course, being [00:32:00] responsible, you have to save it because you need to pay something else.

So in a way, I think that’s related because it makes me feel that that money’s not mine and I’m saving it to pay something else, but I’m forgetting that it’s actually a service for me as well. So it’s, it’s just, uh. Gas bill or power bill or whatever it is, that actually helps me too. So

Todd: yeah, I mean, in an imaginary world, if you were completely taken care of, like everything is taken care of for you, all you have to do is. Play and sleep or something sounds really great. Right? But how long would that be great for you?

Client: I don’t know. Not even a week. I’ve been on [00:33:00] vacation before and I’ve done that.

And I, I, I can’t, I have to do things like within three days I’m already bored and I, I have to do something.

So not that fun. Right. But there’s something,

Todd: there’s something natural about wanting to start solving problems and start, look, you almost start looking for something to like, uh, to chew on, you know, to work on. Yeah. And yeah. I remember summer vacations when I was a kid. I loved it first, and then after like a month, I’m like, I’m so bored

going to the pool again. You know? Right. Sitting around. Then you start wanting to learn something, one, starting wanting to do something, and now it’s starting to look like work. It’s starting to look like work, so it’s, am I? Yeah. [00:34:00] Of course there, I want a balance, right? I don’t want to want to only work and not get paid, but if there’s a way that I can have, if I have some money and I can still be doing some things and solving the problem even about money, that could be, um, yeah, could be more interesting than just.

Sitting around while all the servants come and take care of you. Right.

If you would like to participate in open sessions like the one you just heard here, then go to the work as meditation.com and then go to the open sessions page. And these are free, they’re happen on a weekly basis, on different days, at different times, uh, so that you can participate no matter where you are in the world and, uh, no matter what your income is.

And it’s a great way to, uh, bring up [00:35:00] your own questions. Do your work with me and get clearer and clearer about this simple process called the work of Byron Katie. And while you’re there at the work as meditation.com, I also encourage you to look at private sessions. Open sessions are open to the public.

They’re, they’re seen publicly. They’re part of the podcast. They’re, um, they’re for all of us to appreciate and enjoy together. But sometimes you need to do, do the work more privately. And for that I have private sessions and those can be found at the work as meditation.com under private sessions. Next, I’m gonna read one of my newsletter articles called Mental Emotional Indigestion and How to Overcome It.

If I had eaten all those churros and chocolate dipping sauce, I would probably have indigestion. Indigestion happens when I overwhelm my digestive capacity. [00:36:00] Mental, emotional indigestion. There is such a thing as mental or emotional indigestion, and it’s not much different than stomach indigestion. Any experience that cannot be processed by the system bogs it down.

It can be food or it can be any experience. For example, let’s say someone you love dies. Unless your system is able to process the experience completely, it can tie up your internal resources for years or decades, even if you’re over it, there may still be a thread of sadness or depression or anger.

This is an undigested experience in the heart and in the mind, and as long as it’s sitting there in the system, there’s little appetite for more experiences. The system overall [00:37:00] is weakened. It’s not just negative experiences, either. Positive experiences can overwhelm the mind and emotions too. I remember I had a year or more of very positive experiences in my twenties.

I was going to bed very early doing yoga and lots of meditation. I felt a kind of spiritual high a lot of the time. That became an overwhelming experience for me in a positive sense, and I’ve spent many years yearning for that. Again, a positive experience can tie up my energy just as easily as any negative experience.

In both cases, positive or negative, we’re dealing with mental emotional overload, which can lead to either aversion or attachment and tie up the mind for a long time. Experiences make impressions. Non charged experiences make very slight impressions. For example, [00:38:00] I know I had lunch the other day, but I don’t remember exactly what I ate.

And I don’t, I didn’t leave much. I didn’t leave much of an impression on my mind because I didn’t judge it as very good or very bad. It just was. But I can remember in vivid color where I was when I got the call that my mom died. I judged that experience as a very important and not good, and it became immediately very charged.

Charged experiences occupy the mind fully and can keep it going around in circles for years unless you do something to improve your mental digestion. When digestion is weak, it is easily overwhelmed. When it is strong, it can handle almost anything. How to process undigested experiences. The work of Byron Katie is a way to strengthen your mental, emotional digestion by dealing [00:39:00] with the unprocessed stuff.

You start with any stressful experience that’s running in your mind. The fact that it has a charge means that it is overwhelming the digestive system and is bogging down the energy. The work starts there. By identifying the emotional charge and finding the thought associated with the charge. When the thought is questioned and space is given to experience the effect of the thought, the mind often becomes willing to look at other interpretations of the experience.

You can literally rewrite history, a more truthful history and a more peaceful history by questioning your thoughts in this way. It is a meditative practice. The energy caught up in a stressful thought is freed. As the mind starts to see things differently, the emotion relaxes and the experience fades the same way.

My experience of lunch faded [00:40:00] away. There is no undue importance given to it anymore, and the mind can let it go. It is neither very good nor very bad. It just is. Trapped energy becomes available again. All the energy used to contain the undigested experience and to circle around it again and again can now go back into the pool of energy available to process new experiences coming in.

In my experience, the mind becomes stronger and stronger with the ongoing practice of the work. The more stories that I question, the more energy I free up and the less likely I am to get bogged down by new experiences. The work is literally a way of strengthening my digestive system. The Work 1 0 1, my nine week online course in the work of Byron Katie is a great way to go [00:41:00] deeper with the work and to become part of my unique online community to support you in this practice.

Here’s a quote from Byron Katie from her book, A Mind at Home with Itself. People who do the work find that when they question their stressful thoughts, the whole world changes for the better. They discovered that everything happens for them, not to them. They begin to realize that they are 100% responsible for their own happiness.

This is very good news because we can’t change the world right now, but we can certainly change how we experience the world.

So thanks for listening, and be sure to subscribe to this podcast. Share it with a friend, post something on social media about it, or leave a review for the podcast wherever you happen to listen. And stop by the work as meditation.com [00:42:00] to get my newsletter to participate in open sessions like the one you heard here today.

And you’ll also find hundreds of articles on the work of Byron Katie there, as well as information about the work 1 0 1, my course on stress management by using this process, uh, my other course called the Work 1 0 2 for deepening your, your. Facility, your ability to work one-on-one with people in spoken form doing the work.

You also find virtual retreats there where you can come together with us on Zoom for a weekend and do a lot of work in our community. I also have an Inquiry Circle community online group, breakfast Club. I have private sessions, I have do it yourself courses such as the Living With Money Course, and I have a book called Finding the Door to Inquiry.

So go to the work as meditation.com, dot com, check it out and see if there’s something that resonates with you, and you may find [00:43:00] that beginning. This practice can lead to a lot of openings in your life as you continue forward. So thanks again for listening, and until next time, have a great week.