Not in the Mood for Inner Work? How Overwhelmed HSPs Can Still Begin Gently

In this episode, we talk a little bit about the kind of stuck emotional part that usually drives us to wanna do the work. Got a charge on it, and it’s frustrated. And normally in day-to-day life, we try to get rid of that, try to deal with that, try to move it out of the way so we can get to what we’re wanting to focus on.

But in the work, we actually let that come into the forefront. Allow it to be heard and then allow it to work through its own, whatever it needs, so that it can find a little more peace inside. Now, we talked about that in this particular session, and I wanted to mention that sometimes that’s hard to do for yourself.

Sometimes it’s hard to be both the facilitator for yourself and the client for yourself holding the space for your kind of emotional part. And that’s the value of working with a facilitator like myself. I offer sessions one-on-one with you so that you can not have to be facilitator and you can just allow yourself to be that kind of doc ranting, dressed part of yourself and allow it to work through what it needs to work through.

So if you would like extra support in that way. Go to the work as meditation.com and go to private session and I’d be happy to work with you.

And I had been triggered by several things, several different beliefs. Different people, different situations, and the result was, I just was really feeling awful. And in that moment it was like there were two problems that I would love your thoughts on. The first problem was so many beliefs. Welcome to Wiggle Room, a podcast where we start with stress and look for ways to turn it around.

I call it wiggle room because always inside there is room to maneuver. There is freedom. There’s an inner space there that we tend to forget because we’re so focused on the outside and trying to get that to change, which is often not possible to change. So this podcast is about finding that wiggle room.

Finding the space inside to be yourself, no matter what’s going on around you. The process we use for this is called the work of Byron Katie, if you haven’t heard of it, it’s a set of four questions and turnarounds that you can use to question anything that you’re thinking, any kind of stressful thought, any kind of stressful situation.

Find the thoughts and you question them, and you start to find that wiggle room inside. Which is that open, more peaceful feeling. I’m Todd Smith and on the program today, we start with a kind of discussion or question related to how to be open to doing the work. When you’re not in a curious frame of mind, part of the prerequisite of doing the work is to be open at least willing to explore or to challenge yourself.

In this way, I. So we, there are a couple questions related in this that we get into, and then that’s probably for the first good bit of the session. And then we also move into a little bit of identifying a stressful thought for the same person who asked the question, start identifying the stressful thoughts based on the discussion that we had.

On how to do it. So I think you’ll find this interesting. I think you’ll find it instructional in terms of how to actually do the work when you’re in that place of I’m not sure this is gonna work and there’s resistance and you’re not really in a curious frame of mind. So after that I will read the a newsletter called, I Have to Write a Good Worksheet.

Is that true? Let’s dive into the work of Byron Katie together. It is a simple, yet powerful way to question anything that you think, especially your stressful thoughts. And here is our latest weekly open session. I share as always the unedited recording so that you can experience this work just as we did when we were getting together.

Yeah, I’ll frame it specifically. I was walking today and I had been. Triggered by several things, several different beliefs, different people, different situations. And the result was, I just was really feeling awful. And in that moment it was like, there were two problems I would love your thoughts on. The first problem was so many belief, how do I choose one?

And I know it just choose one. But in my mind it’s no, but I, how do I choose one? They’re all so important. Then the second question I’d love insights on is just honestly how to be open ride through pain. I don’t know. It’s can be very hard for me to get through it when the work isn’t able, when I’m not in a curious frame of mind to approach the work, and the work just feels like a challenge and it just feel too hard to.

All I can think of in those painful times is it’s all a belief and I’m still trapped and I can’t get out and it’s awful. And I don’t seem to know how to navigate that space when I’m not doing the work. Yeah. Just knowing that it’s all a belief is not the same as relief. Not the same as peace and.

I think that’s the place that we all get stuck. And at some degree, at all times, it happens to, I should say not at all times, but it happens at different times for all of us, is that we get it on a certain level. Oh, it’s just, there are all these beliefs. And then it’s not enough.

It’s not enough to just know that this is a thought and I could question it and. What we’re really dealing with is what you say, what exactly we described is that there’s something in me that is feeling almost threatened by the work or challenged by it in a way that’s more that I’m open to going into.

And so there’s a resistance there and I’ve done the work before. I know it can really be amazing. But the number one prerequisite for doing the work is a certain state of willingness to, to question the very thing that I’m thinking. And that’s a vulnerable state that we put ourselves in when we do that.

So sometimes that’s just not available. It’s just not available. And there are a couple things that can help in that regard. One is. Simply noticing that and knowing that I’m not in a curious frame of mind right now, and for me to almost force the work would be counterproductive and actually would make me start to resent the work and not trust the work and push me in the opposite direction.

So I think that’s one thing that important to keep in mind. Sometimes I’m just not willing, I’m just not open and to respect that. Because really what we’re doing in the work, the essence of what we’re doing in the work is we’re listening to our stuck part, our little dressed part inside that never gets listened to.

We’re so used to pushing that down. You’re not good, you’re bad. Push it away, control it. All of that, suppress it, where all the different words we use, we’re controlling the emotion somehow, or that little rebellious, frustrated, angry, whatever emotional part of ourselves. That we’re used to doing that and the work, what’s brilliant about the work, reversing that and saying no.

Let’s create a safe space for this emotional part of ourselves to actually let out, be those right uncensored. Just let yourself rant, let yourself have the emotion and. I find it’s extremely important to allow myself to do that in a completely uncensored way. And what that means even on a larger level, is I don’t even have to question this if I don’t want to, because if I think I always have to question everything I, I rant about, then I may start to feel.

Stressed about, I feel reluctant to expose myself to this machine that’s gonna eat me up and spit me out and destroy my beliefs and, that’s the way it can think. Of course, that’s not the real feeling of what we’re trying to do. We’re trying to say, okay, stuck part, you’re in control.

First of all, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Second of all, first phase is just tell us what you’re feeling and let that be a therapy in and of itself. Then thirdly, when I do the question, I want you stuck part to be the one answering the questions and finding what you find or not like you’re in the driver’s seat.

So most of the time when I approach it that way, the little stress part of me feels like, okay, if you’re gonna let me really be in the driver’s seat and then I’m willing to play this game a little bit with you. I do have some previous experience that it does, it is helpful anyway and I do wanna feel better, so it’s like willing to play a little bit, but I, as the facilitator part of myself that’s holding the space for this, I have to be really patient and really understanding and not pushy about that.

Otherwise, that curiosity is just gonna evaporate and the mind does not. Wanna just give up control, just because you say so, it’s no. In fact, sometimes the things that we’re attached to actually have validity too. So we have to be sorting that out. And it’s a delicate sorting sometimes. So all respect has to be given to that quote unquote negative or resistant part.

And if that is given, if you really are doing that. You will feel it. Your whole emotional center will feel that and it will respond in an open way that or more open way. And if not, then it’s being heard by saying, not now. Thank you. And it gives you freedom to just say. Okay, I appreciate that.

And anytime you’re ready. I’m available here to support you. That’s me talking to myself. So I think that’s one thing you were saying, how to be more open when you’re not in a curious part of frame of mind is to give that respect to the non curious part and let it tell its side.

Ask questions that let’s hear what it’s feeling and thinking. And that’s how a trustful relationship is built up. Not from I’m going to. I’m going to fix myself or I’m going to get over this, or I’m gonna get through this and like it or not, little heart, you’re coming along and it just, it only goes so far.

It really, it doesn’t work so well. So it has to be given full full control is the right word, maybe full freedom to say no. To have that no respected. If it doesn’t, it’s like consent really is what we’re talking about. I have to have consent from my own heart and I have to be willing to give consent to my heart when I’m working.

One other point that, one other thing you can play with is if there’s a lot of resistance to something you can even say. Again, asking this heart what is bothering you, you can ask it. So what is your resistance to this? What are you afraid is gonna happen if if we question this, are you, is there something that’s concerning you about even entering into doing the work on this?

And you can write those kind of thoughts as preliminary thoughts to work before you get into the, the meat of it. If it’s gonna go in that direct. Those are all possibilities. This is all addressing your number two question about how to be open when you’re not right.

That kind of a idea of it, how to be how to do the work when you’re not really in that curious frame of mind. Short answer, you can’t, and long answer. If you’re willing to wait and listen to the why, the mind is not curious. You may be able to engage and it says, okay, you may end up getting the go ahead, but it’s in the driver’s seat.

And your job as a mind, an intellect is to simply just keep inviting the heart to this work, but not pushing it and then respecting where it’s at throughout the prophet. The other question you said, it’s like how many, when you have so many beliefs, right? And how do you choose one? And of course you’re right.

You just choose one. Of course. That’s the simple answer. Just pick one. Anyone will do. And that is true. I think what makes this hard for some of us is the desire for a particular outcome, right? And so yeah, I want to choose the one that’s gonna open it all up for me and make everything just, Grady.

So that’s an underlying belief that kind of messes with the process. And so when you notice a thought like that, like you can actually look for them, what am I wanting here? What am I needing? What am I trying to get out of this piece of work? When you’re aware of that, and we can note that down, you can question that as an entry point as a kind, again, preliminary work before you get into choosing the one to question.

So think I, if I’m working, say there’s several different things bothering me, and maybe the thought is I just wanna feel better. And it’s this strong urge. I just want to feel better. I. So I might start with questioning that. I want to feel better. Is it true? And get to a, maybe a more open place of I don’t have to just go from here to Nirvana in one step.

And maybe it’s okay if I’m just normal or even in pain a little here too, like the openness to even the negative can take the pressure off. When I’m trying to get somewhere, especially with an emotion, I’m trying to get out of pain I’m, and I can’t help that. I do want to get out of pain, but the more attached I am to that, the more I’m gonna put pressure on myself to, to find the perfect, stressful thought and make sure that one takes me out of this pain into a good place again.

So yeah. Many beliefs are, that’s everyone’s experience. Pretty much. There’s a million things we could question but

it really doesn’t matter. The way I think of the work is it’s a chance to look at one piece of my mind, and that piece is gonna contain the whole of me, so I don’t have to, it really doesn’t matter if I choose this one or this one. I’m gonna get a chance to look at myself. I’m gonna get a chance to know myself a little better.

And for me, that approach to doing the work is a more peaceful way of doing it instead of, I’ve gotta get outta pain, or I’ve gotta change myself, or I’ve got to make some step of evolution. I need to get, I need this relationship to be working better. I need to fix, I need this to get better.

Ouch. That’s there’s so much pressure there. But if I think of, oh, relationship, relationships do get better with the work, but if my focus is on, what can I learn from this one instance when somebody said something to me, suddenly the stakes are smaller and doable. I can bite that off. I can chew that, I can work with that, and I.

And my expectations are much like more realistic or lower in a way, but in a good way. I’m just focused on this one experience and what can I gain from that? What more can I learn about myself, the other person, the relationship and then it really doesn’t matter if I’m doing the work on this one or that one, or this one or that one, they’re all gonna show me something about.

I think that the biggest thing, taking the pressure off if it’s possible for getting somewhere with the work, the more I need to get somewhere with the work, the more stressful it’s gonna be, and the more I’m gonna be overwhelmed and I’m gonna be needing to do the right thing, as opposed to just picking whatever, wherever my kind of feet lead me to, to pick my fingers, lead me wherever.

Anyway, those are a lot of thoughts there. But hopefully I touched on those two points. Is there anything that you, that landed with you or any question out of what I was saying? No, it’s really helpful, both of both questions that you addressed and I loved in the first question first of all, it’s so true about the outcome that I’m driven for an outcome when I’ve got a lot going on and I’m struggling.

I really appreciate it. What’s the outcome I’m trying to get the work to do, questioning that. And then in the first question that you said, I really love what you were saying about basically building up trust, like letting that little creature come out. And if the more Yeah. It’s I like that idea of, it’s a building trust exercise experiencing.

Pain without trying to get in there and fix it right away, like a building up trust. Again, thinking about me and my children, I used to always try and fix their pain right away and gradually learning that’s not the right approach all the time, and so I really appreciate that. Yeah, that, that’s a good analogy with children, that’s really what we’re dealing with.

There’s a child part of me. And building up that trust is essential because the child itself actually does hold the power in a way. You’re right. So I can’t just force it, it doesn’t work. It’s like trying to chase a dog and it doesn’t run away. So I have to build up a certain amount of trust that will I.

That then they, that child can start to solve its own problems and be, start to grow and become less child, less of a child, and more of an adult. And that’s a win-win for all thought. Yeah. Okay. That took longer than I expected, but you also mentioned there was something you wanted to do to work on.

Is that still up for you? I definitely would love to share a situation. I’m also open to if someone else has something they wanna say, doesn’t look like it okay. Yeah, keep going. So this might be you helping me find the belief or the outcome. So I’ve got I sent an invitation to a bunch of people.

A friend of mine wrote back, said, this sounds so amazing. I can’t do it. How’s. How’s the RSVPs going? And normally I would just be like, oh, say good, or whatever. I, even though I feel bad, so I feel bad when people reject me. So loss and the words in her email, you were talking about words earlier.

The words are nothing wrong with the word. And even my intellectual mind knows there’s also nothing really wrong with what she can’t do it. The child within me is very upset that she’s not saying yes, is upset that she’s not giving me really good reasons, is upset that she’s like asking me how it’s going.

Well, prob like lots of people are saying no. So it’s embarrassing that they’re all now. She wants to also know. Now I have to tell her, oh, nobody’s responding. So I’m having like, I’m having so much. So there’s the belief about. She shouldn’t like that she’s rejecting me. There’s the belief that she isn’t explaining her rejection, that she doesn’t care about me.

That it’s humiliating that she’s like having me expose myself to that. Nobody’s saying yes. And then there this outcome thing that you mentioned in the earlier is what I’m focused on is, oh my gosh, I have done the work on this friend. So many times I have done the work on rejection so many times I can’t, I always react like this and I hate it.

So there’s also that piece of just like, why even bother doing the, why even bother doing it? It just comes back every single time. The so the one thing I’m happy about today is that I didn’t fake a response. I’m not mad at her. I’m not gonna boycott her, but I’m just letting myself. Experience this and maybe question it before I respond because I am upset and it’s, I know it’s not her fault.

I can’t expect something different from her, but this part of me is mad at her and wants it to be different. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And you’re saying it so clearly, right? This part knows there’s no problem and I, I have no, I don’t want to expect her, I don’t even expect her. This part does. So this part that needs to work, and that’s the part that, that needs to be writing the stressful thought to question or needs to be writing the judger neighbor worksheet that the part that need the work.

And so if you were gonna let that part speak or yell or whatever. What would it be saying about this friend when she says, oh, this sounds amazing, but I can’t do it. Oh, by the way, how are the RSVPs going?

She always says no. It is something to do with this exposure of me being failure, she’s humiliating me. Asking me how many people have R RSVP’d me. That’s so humiliating. So she always says, no, she’s humiliating me. She thinks she’s better than me. Yeah. This is how to write a a stressful thought.

Coming feel the differences coming from the real part that got touched or hurt by her words. She always says no. It almost, you can almost feel it, it almost feels like the kind of thing I would say when I was a child. Ah she always says no. Or she’s humiliating me. She’s exposing me like a failure.

She’s humiliating me. Oh, I think she’s better than me. So this is the essence of how to identify a stressful thought to question and notice what we’re doing. We’re doing two things simultaneously. We’re identifying the stressful thought to question, but we’re also letting that part be heard.

We what I was talking about earlier, letting that part have, its say have it real feelings be heard. And that is. So important, right? That’s the part we try to not have happen. Oh. I don’t want, I don’t want that part to come to the party ’cause it’s just gonna be so negative. Or it’s just such a party pooper.

So this is the, you’ve done the the good work already right here. She always says no. Bingo. That’s one we can just start questioning. She’s humiliating me. Same situation, slightly different offense. So there’s two things going on there. And they both deserve equal treatment or time for doing the work.

That’s why they’re separate. So just and she thinks I’m better than me, was like the third one. Yes. And so what I am hearing that you’re reading it back to me. Part of my mind that goes, okay, we’ve already worked on all these things like so many times. There’s no point. What is what I’m hearing and feeling is that we’re questioning this in that situation, which we haven’t, which I haven’t done before.

That’s it. Yes, that’s it. We’ve already done this a million times before. Is true on one level and completely has nothing to do with this particular moment. And the specifics are where the power lie in regards to the work works so well. Which specific situations and the specifics of this relationship you have with her, this particular, the words that she said, the way you were feeling, all of that is very specific.

Now you’re in new territory you’re exploring something uncharted territory, and that’s exciting. That’s what keeps me after, I don’t know, 15, 16, 17 years of doing the work I’m still excited about it. Like I’m still like, oh, what will I discover today? What’s there’s unexplored, uncharted territory in situations like this that are very similar to other things I’ve worked.

But the fact that something’s still getting me about it means there’s some things I don’t really see or not really fear about or don’t understand, and I can’t wait to get in there and get into that darkness and find out where the solid ground is, where the, where the flimsy stories are, where the real stuff is, where the fake stuff is.

That’s exciting. Like for me, that keeps me going in the work. It doesn’t matter that I’ve done it a thousand times before. Yeah, you nailed it. That’s right. Otherwise, the cop out that we all use is, oh, I’ve done it before. Oh, I already got that. Yeah. I’ve worked on that friend before. I don’t have to work on them anymore.

Or I’ve worked on situations where people humiliated me before. I get it. I get it. I get it. Is the end of a curious mind. Soon as I say, I get it. Oh, I got that. Oh, I worked that. All those variations. That’s the end of curiosity, the end of exploring, end of an open mind. Now I’m like, oh, this is boring.

I’ve done this before. Why I waste my time. But if I’m not thinking that way, it’s holy crap, I can’t believe this is like a live one and I’ve got it right in the microscope. I can’t wait. To see what’s actually happening there. I know there’s little things going on that I’ll be able to see that are gonna show me things about my whole life.

And this is like suddenly there’s like chills on your back because it’s so exciting. Yeah. Like I, I’m less in this particular case thinking I, I’ve got it, I know it and I’m more like, it doesn’t work. That mind. I’m like, yeah, that’s the other one. So many times it, it doesn’t work. It won’t work. So that, yeah, the belief over, another belief there to question maybe what that same situation is.

It doesn’t help me with my insecurity, for instance, or my reactions, my drama. That’s a, yeah, exactly. So I picked on one. But yours is an absolutely another very common kind of thought. Oh, this doesn’t help. I’ve done it before and it didn’t work. Or I just know it’s not gonna work. It’s like I’m dealing with something big here.

I have a big, issue in my life right now. It’s over. It’s a, it’s something about me. It’s person, it’s a personality thing. Who knows, right? It’s something big. This is not gonna help with that. This is too minute. Too small, too. Yeah. And plus I’ve done it before. So these are the beliefs that the mind will tie into that, will say, okay, don’t waste your time with it.

And then of course if you go ahead and do it. You’re still believing those anyway, then it turns out to be true. Like it was a waste of time, didn’t really find anything ’cause you weren’t really open to your floor. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Interesting. So those, what are we’re talking about is like little resistance thoughts, what I was talking about earlier.

Little resistance thoughts to doing a piece of work and they’re worth questioning even as preliminary work before you jump into. Doing the act work and that, that can be helpful as well. But yeah, it’s the combination of the doubt, like the resistance, questioning that and the goal, right? We call a motive sometimes.

Like the goal to get this work has to fix this issue that I have in my life. And if it’s not gonna be doing that, I don’t wanna waste my time. Yeah. It’ll be nice to explore something, right? But what the heck cares, right? Show me the money.

So this is equally a distraction as the resistance. In fact, they’re the same thing in a way. Like the resistance is, I’m resisting because it’s not gonna produce the results on this thing that I want it to happen. What the mind’s actually doing there is it’s taking the focus away from the actual meat of the situation, which is the specific tiny little minutia that can actually set you free when you work through it, ironically, with an open mind and can actually deal with all these big things ironically, but you can’t go straight for them if you go straight for these, or if you’re saying, this is what I need and I’m not sure it’s gonna happen.

Then you won’t actually do the work that is necessary to bring about that. It’s such a catch 22. It’s just, it’s ironic attack. So yeah, the way out of that is just question the need to get somewhere big and any resistances that you have to actually doing the work. And then if you can suspend your disbelief for a little while and then actually go through the process.

That’s when things can actually shift and change, but you don’t know how or which, or what you don’t really have control over it. You have to be along for the ride, which is the opposite of our controlling nature to want to I want to go from A to B and it’s gotta go straight from A to B.

What’s the shortest way? No, just say okay, I’m interested in b. But I’m here in a I’m willing to explore here and who knows where the fastest route might be. It might be going in the opposite direction. It looks like you’re going towards C but actually it’s a short way around that allows for less mountain climbing and you end up actually arriving at the goal, be quicker.

You never know. It comes down to trusting, trusting myself, trusting life, trusting my ability to know the difference between what’s to feel my way out of pain instead of having to think my way out. Pain, we’re just feeling our way in the dark, and sometimes the fastest route is not the straight line.

Oh. Anyway, we’re, there are lots of thoughts around this, but it’s a super area to think about because it’s something we’re, we deal with on a regular basis for doing the work. Yeah. Thank you for the Thank you. And I think the, we can leave it with, you’ve got three really cool statements that you can question.

She always says no in that situation, let’s work it or. She’s humiliating me and then she thinks she’s better than me. Those three of you just took your time with those, gave it a full however much time as you need and go through the four questions and the turnarounds who knows where that leads.

And so we’ll leave it at that. Wonderful. I really appreciate that. You’re welcome. Yeah. Really fun. It is fun. And I say that I don’t say that lightly, like it’s work, love work, right? It doesn’t sound like fun, but it actually is fun as long as you’re not taking it too seriously. Yeah. As long as you’re being gentle with yourself.

Great questions. Thank you for all of that and great exploration. If you would like to participate in open session, like the one you heard just now, then go to the work as meditation.com and sign up there on the open sessions page and you can see the schedule there. You can join us and bring your questions and your particular thing that you would like to work to the sessions.

While you’re there, I also encourage you to check out the finding the door to inquiry book, which is a great way to identify stressful thoughts that are bothering you. Sometimes you are know what’s bothering you, but it not quite clear what that is. So identifying stressful thoughts is an art, it’s an ability to listen to yourself.

You may find a lot of helpful tips in this book, finding the Door to Inquiry, which you can find Under book at the work as meditation.com. Next, I’m gonna read one of my newsletter articles called I Have to Write a Good Worksheet. Is that true?

If I think I have to take a good photograph, my enthusiasm drops and pressure mouths. Ironically, it does not lead to creating good photos, and I was a professional photographer for many years. Some clients worry about writing a good worksheet. Actually. The word good, there’s just a code for perfect.

Actually. If you notice that you wanna write a perfect worksheet, it’s time to stop and look at your motives. Why do you wanna write a perfect worksheet or even just good worksheet? Here are some common motives and there may be others. If I do this one really well, I won’t have to do any more work. That’s probably the most common motive for finding the perfect, stressful thought to question, or I wanna impress my facilitator, or at least I don’t wanna look bad, or I want to impress others who are following my work and show them.

Show them how enlightened I am, each of one of these motives. And like I said, there can be many other kinds of motives. These are just an example. Each of these can be questioned. So let’s just take a look at these three. The first one worth questioning is if I do this really well, I won’t have to do more work.

Is it true? And there are other beliefs hanging around, worth questioning if I have to sorry. I have to do the work. So is that true? I need to fix myself. Is that true? But work will fix me. Is that true? I need to feel better. Is that true? All of these are motives. They’re my desire to feel better, to do to get out of pain.

Probably not a bad thing, but my attachment to that adds a lot of pressure to the process of inquiry and can actually make it harder to do the work. So I encourage you to question any similar beliefs that you may have about doing the work. Secondly, if you worry that your facilitator won’t think you’re doing it right, then that’s a clear cut.

Judge your neighbor worksheet to write on your facilitator. Don’t miss writing this valuable worksheet. It doesn’t, seems like it’s so trivial. It’s not really what I’m to do the work on, but this could be stopping you from having a deeper experience of the work. You’re so focused on how you’re. You’re going to be received as you’re doing your work, that you’re not free to actually allow yourself to do the work in an uncensored way.

And also keep in mind that you never have to have a worksheet written when you show up for facilitation. You can always ask to write a worksheet with your facilitator at the beginning of the session.

A third way that, a third motive that we just mentioned is this, wanting to impress others who may be following your work. This can come up in, in our Inquiry circle group, for example, where we do the work in a group. And you may be wanting to be deep or appear like really wise or something like that.

So this is a, another judge, your neighbor worksheet. It might be a judge, your neighbor. Worksheet on the whole group, or it might be on a particular person if you can identify one that you want to impress. And so we’ve done this kind of exercise in, in Inquiry Circle in our group, and it’s been very helpful and I find this kind of work be, it helps simplify everything.

Now I’m just doing the work for myself instead of trying to do it for somebody else. But if there’s a part of me that’s still wanting to do it for someone else, I. Then give that part a chance to go through the process and actually bind this for itself, that maybe it works better if I’m not focusing on that.

So you can’t force any kind of change on yourself, but you could question your thoughts and this is a good one to question. And then I wanna also encourage you to play with writing bad worksheet. Just write a really crappy worksheet, like you really don’t know what you’re doing. Just answer the questions, get through it, whip it off.

Do a, just stop trying to do a thing important, just ah, yeah and that’s it. Then go back and work it. And I’m willing to bet that crappy worksheet. As valuable as the most perfect worksheet it ever worked. In fact, it might be more valuable ’cause it might be more in touch with your heart and your emotions than the perfect worksheet which has gone through the sensor machine of your mind over and over until it’s spit out this, beautifully perfect worksheet.

Like when it comes to writing your stressful thoughts, you do not have to make things look good just right. Just. Just let that duck stressed part of you say what it feels. So this is probably more valuable to write a crappy worksheet because it’s probably a closer reflection of your raw mind.

Without all the polishing raw thoughts on paper are usually a better way better gateway through my own truth than polished manuscripts. If the work is about finding your own truth, why not let it all out when you’re writing a worksheet? Why not just let it be? And my experience, that’s the most, the easiest and the most effective way to write a worksheet.

If you want support with this, I encourage you to do a private session with me or join my inquiry circle group. Take the work 1 0 1 course and develop this skill, a little bit of listening to yourself and stepping out of the way so that you can actually let what needs to come out come up. So I’ll end with a quote from Byron Katie’s book, loving What Is, write down your thoughts without trying to censor them.

Sit with your pen and paper and just wait. The words will come, the story will come. And if you really wanna know the truth, if you’re not a. Afraid to be your story. On paper, the ego will write like a maniac. It doesn’t care. It’s totally inhibited. This is the day the ego has been waiting for. Give it its life on paper.

It has been waiting for you to stop just once and really listen to it. It will tell you everything like a child. Then when the mind is expressed on paper. You can inquire.

So thanks for listening and be sure to subscribe to this podcast. Share it with a friend, post something on social media, leave a review if you haven’t done that, and stop by the work as meditation.com to get my newsletter and to participate. Open sessions. I participate in the Work 1 0 1 and my in Inquiry Circle group, as well as private sessions and other services and product I offer.

Check it all out, the work as meditation.com. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, have a great week.